Let me preface this article by saying that this season of The Bachelorette was by far my favorite. Rachel Lindsay challenged her suitors to offer her respect, and she was an intelligent and beautiful heroine to root for. And while I wish I could say confidently that Rachel made the right/wrong decision Monday night in the finale, I know that it would be ignorant of me to think I could have made that decision for her. After all, I (like every other viewer) only saw what producers handed to me on a silver platter, and for me to judge someone that was there in the flesh would be beyond distasteful. So that's not what I'm going to do.
But like every other aspect of this season, the "dramatic finale" (as Chris Harrison would say) once again broke boundaries when it comes to falling in love. The controversial question that was presented in this episode is as follows: should a proposal be an expected aspect of the show's finale? And I'm not sure it has an answer.
HERE COME THE SPOILERS!
For those of you who need a refresher, Rachel chose Bryan after not-saying-goodbye-saying-goodbye to Peter in a hotel room the night before.
Even if The Bachelorette is a "reality" show, we tend to see certain types of characters in the final episode: the man who is head over heels in love, and the man with doubts (and yes, the woman always seems to be more attracted to the one with reservations). Rachel's men were no different, except in the critical aspect that Peter's reservations won out. Two head strong individuals weren't willing to compromise, and the result was the painful stalemate that was 50% of Monday night's finale.
But even so, a part of me expected him to run to the top of that mountain in Rioja and tell Rachel he was willing to sacrifice his core values if it meant not losing her. THAT would have been a cinematic moment, let me tell you. But he didn't, and I immediately felt like a piece of crap.
Why did I expect an individual that I knew nothing about to abandon a central aspect of his belief system for a woman with whom he built a relationship through wine, vacations, and minimal one-on-one time?
Well, because it's TV. Rachel's decision to marry Bryan was equally calculated and I by no means am trying to discredit the love they have for each other, but I think we could all see that Peter and Rachel are more similar than they think: each abandoned the other to deny expectations.
The answer to our question is obviously personal. For Rachel, yes, a proposal was expected, but viewers also expected that she would end up with the man putting up a fight, rather than the one ready to dive in head first. Similarly, Peter stayed true to his beliefs, denying that a proposal is necessary for a secure relationship.
But why does that conflict arise in the first place? Who's idea was it that two people could spend the rest of their lives together if they nurtured their relationship by traveling the word, taking part in expensive activities, and having only a single night away from the cameras?
Jimmy Kimmel put it right when he said, "Peter did something no one on the show has ever done before. He acknowledged how preposterous it is to get engaged to a woman you've been on three dates with while she was dating two other people."
The Bachelorette has a 42% success rate since Season 12, which means only 5 couples are still together. While this number seems low, it is actually higher than that of The Bachelor where only 2 of 20 couples are still together, not to mention that only 60% of couples in 20 seasons were even engaged by the end of their season.
So yes, both Peter and Rachel had expectations in their relationship, but for each of them, that meant something different. It was refreshing to see one person stand up to the expectations of reality TV and the other find love for the person who loved her too.
Hopefully, Rachel and Bryan will be on the right side of that statistic, but this is still a TV show, and not everyone can be like Peter and salvage their morals in front of rolling cameras. It takes courage to have reservations, but then again, so does falling in love.