Depression Is Not About Attention

Depression Is Not About Attention

It's a real disease that so many people suffer through.

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My friends, depression is real. It is as real as the freckles on your skin and the color in your eyes. Although the colors in the eyes of depression are much more dull, they are still as real and yours and mine.

Depression has a way of wrapping itself around you, and squeezing you tight; not in a warm swaddling way, like our mothers once did for us. No, it is a tight squeeze that empties your joy, deprives your happiness, and wrenches out every ounce of motivation you once had. It is a type of grip that can leave you cold and empty.

And in the grasp of depression, your spirit is set aside into the hollow casing we sometimes call our bodies. Depression has a way of forcing you to watch the world from the inside out; you are present but your mind is off in the distance. Circles spinning around you, and all you can do is remember to breathe and keep playing this game we call life. A game that nobody wins, because in the end, there is no restart button. Your chance is just as good as mine, and yet here we are.

The morning comes and your eyes crack open with a burning sensation. All of the grime crusted over your eyes pries off and your left laying there. You think of all the reasons why you shouldn’t get up today. You thumb through the outcomes of the day and all of the possible interactions you might stumble upon.

When depression strikes, there is a small chance for conversation. Although you strongly don’t want to get up, you force yourself to your feet. Today will be different you tell yourself; partially in hopes but almost entirely in denial. A shower is less of a cleansing opportunity, but a moment for utmost contemplation. You wish it would wash away the burden and the thoughts, but all it does is wet your hair.

One-by-one, you pull your clothes on, hoping that it will brighten up your mood. Standing in the mirror, there isn’t a person, but a body that once had spirit. Hour-by-hour, minute-by-minute, the day passes by.

Food is as distasteful as the bubbled feeling, weighing down your stomach. As the day ends, you crawl back to your bed and wait for your body to eventually fall asleep. A tear here or a helpless sigh there can give you a moment of feeling; but once that moment has passed, your left back in your bed, numb.

The night is always worse. Negative thoughts rocket through your head.

“Should I be here?” “What is the point? Tomorrow will be the same.”

The questions just add to the eerie feeling of the dark room and silence only makes it worse. With silence, your thoughts are loud. Your breathing starts to increase, and you are left alone to fight through the night. The depression turns into a blanket so heavy that you can’t move, you can’t breathe. You just hope your body gives up and you will soon be fast asleep.

Depression is a very internal thing that only a few can understand. When in depression, you never want to push your problems on somebody else. Although some crave to be held, the last thing a person with depression would want, is to drag somebody else down. Instead, replies like “I’m tired” or “I don’t feel good” are satisfactory to the questions of society. With a forced smile, how could anybody believe them?

Clinical depression is a chemical imbalance in the body. Those who are diagnosed with this, need to get help. Depression is not for attention, it is a reality for many individuals in today’s society.

For those going through depression, know that so many people are there for you. You are never alone. And for those who deny depression as a diagnosis, please do your research. It is small-minded to think depression is not a thing. Educate yourself, it could save a life.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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