Mental health is a topic extremely dear to my heart, and since the new year is beginning, I wanted to talk about how we need to leave the surrounding stigma behind in 2017. Many people struggling with a mental illness feel they have no one to talk to, nowhere to turn, and no proper resources to help them down the road to recovery. As a result, many lose their lives to suicide year after year. Mental health must be discussed more honestly, openly, and frequently to prevent more lives from being taken from us.

As someone who has struggled with depression for five years, I know what it is like to feel worthless, alone, and helpless. I have had absolutely morbid thoughts about myself, thoughts that never would have occurred to me, even in my worst nightmares. It was terrifying. Until I was 16, I concealed these thoughts, I did not tell people I normally tell everything to, such as my mom or my best friends. Instead, I wrote down what I was feeling in an old marble copybook I found in my closet left over from school supply shopping. I wrote down my thoughts because I did not want to burden or scare anyone with the awful things I was thinking about myself.

Finally, I decided it was time for me to see a therapist. I could not keep holding all of these thoughts inside, it made me miserable. It was not mentally healthy. I began seeing my therapist in July 2015, right before my junior year of high school. Junior year contained the lowest points I have ever reached in my life. I truly felt as if I had no one to fully relate to aside from my therapist, had no positive outlet, and I wanted to disappear. Thankfully, therapy helped me a lot. It took a weight off of my shoulders being able to openly talk about what I was thinking and feeling, and that I wasn’t a lost cause. I could still learn to help myself, as tough as it may be.

However, I am aware that therapy does not work for everyone. This being said, therapy is a gradual process. You don’t just go to a couple sessions, and then you’re magically cured. It doesn’t work that way for anyone. It can be scary talking to someone about what you’re feeling, and finding the right therapist is crucial. You must find someone whom you’re comfortable talking to week after week. I was fortunate to find the right therapist on the first try, but if you aren’t comfortable with your current therapist, don’t hesitate to look for another one.

Of course, we must seek a positive resource for the time we aren’t in our therapist’s office, and some people may not be able to afford therapy. For me, listening to music and writing always seemed to help. Most of my Friday nights in high school were spent in my room, music blasting through my headphones, laying down on my bed, and just jotting down what I did that week, what I was feeling, etc. This allowed me to clear my head, and absorb the lyrics I was listening to.

It is incredibly common for mental illness to prevent one from being able to go out and socialize. I would go out with my friends when I could, but sometimes I would feel so low that I could not bring myself to get up and go out. I would then convince myself that my friends secretly hated me, question them about it, and push them further away when all I wanted was reassurance that they valued me as a friend. I would not always get the simple answer of reassurance I wanted, thus spiraling me deeper into my darkness.

Often I will tell my friends that my head convinces me things that aren’t true and that when I say certain things to them, I don’t mean it. My head tries its best to convince me otherwise though. The response to this is not always understanding and encouraging. Whereas if one said, “Hey. My head really hurts, I don’t think I’m going to go out.” The response is usually “Okay! No problem, hope you feel better.” Why is mental health not taken as seriously as physical health? Why must suffering be visible and tangible in order to be considered “real” suffering?

I am here to say that mental illness is a real thing. People with mental illnesses are valid. Their feelings are valid. Their thoughts are real and must be taken seriously. Mental health days should be a normal thing for people to do, and should not be looked down upon. It is crucial for us all to be advocates for mental health awareness. Be supportive of your friends who have a mental illness. Be understanding when they cannot go out, and provide them with reassurance when they need it. A little help goes a long way. Simply listen when they need it. Give advice when they need it. And if you believe you’re unable to help, tell them to consider contacting a therapist. If the person shows signs that they might harm themselves in any way, tell them to call a suicide hotline immediately.

If you are struggling with a mental illness, remember to always have a positive escape. One that allows the light at the end of the tunnel to be visible. It can be anything– music, writing, drawing, reading, ANYTHING that makes you even the slightest bit happy is a valid resource. Find that positive resource and never lose sight of it.

Also, remember to congratulate yourself on any accomplishments, this can range from getting out of bed and getting dressed, finishing homework, or even going out during the day. Accomplishments don’t always have to be “big” to be considered an accomplishment. I know it’s cliche, but it will get better. I promise you it will get better. It won’t be immediate, but it will happen eventually. You’ll begin to believe in this statement and yourself, it just takes time, and that’s okay. Honestly, there is so much more I could say on the topic of mental health, and what I have learned over the years from it, but I think I’ll sum it up by saying: you will be okay. I hope that whoever may be reading this has a wonderful 2018.