Well, here it is, here's the truth about me. I am twenty years old and I have suffered from depression since I was eleven. I used to be so ashamed about it but why? why do I need to be ashamed about having a mental illness that thousands of people suffer from every day? So here I am finally coming clean about my situation I deal with every single day.

So what exactly is depression? Depression (major depressive disorder) is a mental illness that is very common and affects how you feel, the way you think and how you act in a very negative way. Depression can cause the feeling of sadness and/or the loss of interest in activities you usually loved to do. It can cause emotional and physical problems and can lower a person’s ability to function at work and at home.

It has been a social trend to have depression and honestly, I don't see why. Stop romanticizing depression. Depression is not cute it is not easy, it's not just waiting for someone to sweep you off your feet and you'll be okay. Depression is Emptiness, its fear and anxiety pulling you underneath the water and your body is struggling to get any amount of air it can get. Depression is being in a constant war with yourself. It's laughing with your friends but feeling so alone deep inside. Depression is yelling at the people you care about not because you're mad at them you just angry all the time.

Everyone is different, everyone fights their own battles in their own way. I myself chose to hide it, burying it deep inside where no one can see the suffering I was fighting with and I realized I was wrong. I kept trying to run from something that was myself. So in my junior year I hit the lowest point of my depression I lost track of who I was and I was stuck in this dark empty hole. I came clean to my family and I got help. I went to therapy for a few months and it helped I got to speak about everything that I've been going through and it put me back on track. Although I chose to stop going for my own reasons I know I have that option to go back if I ever needed to.

I still have my bad days but I know I won't have to fight forever. I know there is the help out there and I know I am loved so much that if I needed the help I know where to run to. Depression is hard and it's scary but it does not define me. There are days where I feel so weak that I don't think I can fight it but I will never let it win. I'm working on the day where I don't have to fight anymore, and I know it is coming.

Find the help you deserve, Depression doesn't have to win.

suicide prevention hotline :

1-800-273-8255