Demi Lovato's Sexual Assault Prank

After Demi Lovato's Advocacy For Mental Health And Addiction, Her "Prank" Disappointed Me

Sexual assault should never be taken lightly, and being a survivor doesn't mean you can't hurt someone else later.

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She sings songs about confidence, has her own clothing line, and is very open about her story with mental health and addiction. She was a Disney Channel star at a young age, and first started her acting career on the show "Barney" for young children. Many look up to her. Many have dealt with similar challenges.

I appreciate a lot of what Demi Lovato has done. She's shared her story and hope for others battling similar problems such as bipolar disorder, self-harm, and eating disorders. You can find encouraging messages of hers all over the Internet.

She's hinted before on Twitter and in her songs about sexual abuse from her father at a young age as well. This is why I was surprised that this prank was so funny and okay to her. Surely she would know better and have a sense of empathy surrounding this topic.

After seeing people's replies to her tweet, and since Lovato had deleted the primary and most problematic tweet, I searched for more information on what had happened, what this prank was. I found this article in addition, which discussed other problematic actions of hers, such as encouraging detox tea despite her advocacy against eating disorders and for body positivity and health. Needless to say, I'm very disappointed.

Some argue that Lovato isn't the one that did the assaulting, which is true. Despite this, what she had happen was problematic, as was her reaction to it, especially since she acknowledged how much this upset Max and during the #MeToo era and all the great steps we have made as a society through it.

I understand as well as I can how being a celebrity would be hard; every move and mistake of yours is scrutinized and criticized. However, we still need to hold them accountable by calling them in (not out) and having conversations about the problem with and without reference to statements and actions such as hers.

The conversation can start with differentiating between intent and impact: in other words, while someone may have not intended to hurt another person, that person is still allowed to hurt and have a say and deserve an apology. This conversation can detail more descriptive and explicit conversations about consent and empathy surrounding people's relationships with their bodies and other people.

Having these conversations isn't necessarily "fun." Being "woke," as they say, takes extra caution and thinking. It's not as carefree, at least not at first. I understand if it's frustrating or a lot or you feel like other people are always judging you for what you say and how you say it.

But how important it is to be inclusive and thoughtful. How we all need it more than we know, and how much better of a society we have with it. This is why we call in instead of call out. This is how we all have more to learn. This is how doing the right thing and saying things the right way becomes second nature. None of us are perfect; none of us skipped the learning period.

Since I know that we all have periods of learning and misspeaking, I try to hold people accountable sometimes without being too hard on them. My beliefs have nuances. I definitely am in no space to judge others, and I understand when someone knows and intends better but misspeaks.

Taylor Swift is a great example of someone I have mixed feelings about over the way she's spoken and handled things. I would love to have a conversation with both her and Lovato.

During Taylor Swift's sexual assault case, when David Mueller sued her for supposedly causing him to be fired, she countersued for only $1 to make a point that her suing wasn't about the money -- it was to make a point that sexual assault is not okay. Later, she donated money to the Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network (RAINN) in support of other survivors.

However, I feel she could've done more. Money is helpful for sure, but breaking stigma about who perpetrators and survivors are is crucial. It's not hard to believe that a beautiful, young, white woman like Taylor Swift would be assaulted. Minorities, such as people of color, people in the LGBTQ+ community, et cetera are assaulted at higher rates but much less likely to be believed and may encounter other barriers. Men also experience sexual assault and stigma that invalidates and makes light of their experiences. If your feminism isn't intersectional, I don't fully want it.

Cover Image Credit:

http://www.zimbio.com/photos/Demi+Lovato/2nd+Annua...

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47 Things All Female Athletes Have Said

Yes, I know I am sweating a lot. No, I do not enjoy practices. Yes, I have said all 47 of these.
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Whether you're a collegiate athlete, or a high school one, you have probably found yourself saying most of these phrases. Us athletes know that the athlete life isn't for everyone, and we often find ourselves questioning if it's still for us. So, this is for all my fellow athletes.

All my fellow athletes who know the struggle is undoubtedly real, and who find themselves saying these 47 phrases almost as often as I do.

* * *

1. Do you have an extra hair tie?

2. What if we just said no? What if we just didn't run when the whistle is blown?

3. I, like, really, am not feeling practice today.

4. Do these pants make my quads look big?

5. Are you going to eat before or after practice?

6. I'm so sore.

7. Want to get McDonald's after practice?

8. Did you see that she wore makeup to a preseason practice?

9. I actually looked like a girl today.

10. I wonder what college would be like if I wasn't an athlete.

11. We're up before the sun way too often.

12. Is it gross if I don't shower after weights?

13. How hard do you think practice will be today?

14. Coach is literally crazy.

15. I ate like 20 minutes ago, so there's a 50% chance I puke during this practice.

16. I'm not going to drink the protein shake they gave us because it's going to make me gain weight.

17. I think my legs are bigger than his, so I can't date him.

18. I think my arms are bigger than his, so I can't date him.

19. Today in class a non-athlete was talking about how busy her schedule is. It was so annoying.

20. Thinking about preseason makes me want to cry.

21. Is it even healthy for us to have this many practices in one day?

22. I'll be right back, I'm having PGD (pre-game dumps).

23. I think I'm going to throw up.

24. I should have worked out more on my own.

25. How do other girls have the energy to put makeup on for class every day?

26. My legs are dead.

27. Why did we think being a college athlete was a good idea?

28. Do you think coach will be mad if I have to go pee?

29. I think I peed my pants a little bit during conditioning.

30. Should I wear my hair in a pony-tail, or in a bun?

31. I should probably start eating healthy soon.

32. Only six more practices until the weekend, we can do this.

33. I'd rather be sore for a week straight than climb into this ice bath.

34. They might have beat us, but at least we're still pretty.

35. I can't wait to celebrate our win this weekend.

36. How many hours of sleep did you get? I got 6, it was crazy, I feel so refreshed.

37. I look like such a boy right now.

38. Will you braid my hair?

39. That referee totally rigged the game. We should have won.

40. I think I'd hate being a reg (regular student).

41. It's OK if I eat this since we had conditioning this morning, right?

42. If you're not doing homework, get off the bus Wi-Fi, everybody.

43. These pants fit my legs perfectly but are huge on my waist.

44. I smell so bad right now that I can smell myself.

45. I bet my grades would be so much better if I wasn't an athlete.

46. Coach only gave us, like, one water break during practice. It was horrible.

47. I am so happy that I'm an athlete.

Cover Image Credit: Wikimedia Commons

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I Used To Think Height Didn't Matter, But Maybe It Really Does

I've come to a conclusion

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I've had my fair share of boyfriends in the past. A common theme in my past choices of boys is that they were all an inch or two taller than me or the same height. Now, I am a little on the taller side considering that the average height for a woman in the US is 5 feet 4 inches tall. I'm not saying all the tall boys belong to all the tall girls and the shorter guys should stick with shorter girls, but I do think there might be something behind all this madness.

My reasoning for this is simple: I've been in an amazing relationship with someone who is fairly taller than me. Is this reason totally irrational and have no sort of concrete evidence for this argument? Yes, totally, but hear me out. All my other relationships haven't been this good or even had the potential to be this good. Is it a coincidence that they were all shorter? I think not!

There is absolutely nothing wrong with boys who are under 5'9''. There are some nice ones who probably don't talk to 5 other girls while you're dating, I just never happened to come across one back when I was in the game. I just find it interesting that I've been in a really healthy relationship for awhile now with someone who is over 6 feet tall.

Many amazing relationships have happened between all different types of people, no matter the height. It's just if you are having problems with boys who are under 6 feet, you may have some thinking to do.


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