Another day, another mass-shooting in the great United States. Even though these events are becoming pretty common, I thought I would do you all a solid and put together a check-list to ensure that — when in doubt — you're responding in the appropriate American way.

1. Have You Sent Your Thoughts And Prayers?

These are always appreciated. Everyone knows that you're praying extra hard, and I'm sure they appreciate the effort.

2. Have You Gotten Into A Heated "Discussion" About Gun Control?

How are our problems going to get solved if we don't yell about it on Facebook? Extra points if you have to unfriend or block someone because of it.

3. Have You Shared That One Article From 'The Onion'?

You know the one...

4. Or How About That One About Australia's 'Oppressive Regime'?

5. If You're A Writer: Have You Written Pieces About The Shooter With "Exclusive" Information...

...Which may or may not be accurate? Again, this only applies if you're a writer or journalist. Bonus points if you add opinions into your piece(s). Even more points if you disguise them well.

6. Have You Shared Articles About Gun Control?

However, they must only be pieces that support your side. It is critical that you do not flip-flop on this.

7. Have You Posted A Status On Facebook About It?

Don't forget to talk about how sick it is that events like these have become a normal part of our society. If you need help coming up with a status, here are a few cookie-cutter responses to choose from:

"I can't believe this has become normal."

"Don't ever let yourself become numb to events like this."

"How sick is it that I see this, and it's just everyday news now?"

TIP: Add some flair by adding your thoughts and prayers in these, too!

8. Have You Contemplated Moving To Another Country?

9. Talk About This Shooting For About A Week

Turn off your phone, go to sleep, wake up and go to work. Maybe talk about the shooting for a week. Two, at most.

10. After About A Week: Stop Talking About It

Forget about it until the next one... or until the next argument about gun control pops up on Facebook.

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And that's it! If you've done all of these things: Congratulations! You've just responded to a mass-shooting like a proper American.