knowing self worth

The Importance Of Knowing Your Self-Worth Can Follow You No Matter Where You Go

Never take your self-worth for granted, because in the end, it's all you have.

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Let me start by being completely honest. Self-worth is something that I personally have had my own struggles with, whether it's that feeling of not being good enough for something or comparing myself to others and feeling like I don't measure up to them.

Not only is this harmful to one's own health (mental and possibly physical), but it also blocks them from receiving a positive flow of energy and sometimes things.

Self-worth is the sense of one's own value or worth as a person. In other words how you view yourself.

Never take your self-worth for granted, because in the end, it's all you have.

This comes into play in relationships a lot more than we often realize. I have recently written a few other articles on some of my own personal relationships and how they affected me in this way.

And it's not just about the toxicity of a relationship (romantic or otherwise), but everything else that comes along with it, good or bad. It's enjoying the little things and the memories you make together. It's laughing and having a good time. But MOST importantly, it's having the ability to leave if it becomes so toxic that it's filled with more bad than good.

Toxic relationships can be hard to define and in some ways, a relationship (yours or someone else's) you think is, others may not. It's all in the eye of the beholder. For me, it wasn't until a friend of mine who was on the outside of the relationship pointed out how toxic it truly was. But by that point, the damage was done and it took a while for me to get back to the person I was before it.

So, in short, your opinion on yourself is the one that matters most, no one else's. It's so easy for people to look into the mirror and pick out the things they hate about themselves or to look at someone else and wish they had whatever they had (good job, slimmer waist, longer hair, etc.). DON'T do it. You don't have to be wonderful like them -- you can be wonderful as you.

So how do you know (in the instance of a relationship, romantic or not) when it's at that point?

You start to feel bad about things that once made you happy. You lose motivation for things you once loved. This is why knowing your self-worth is SO important and means everything.

As humans, we must know the importance of our worth. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, they're not the right person for you. Setting high goals and even higher standards can help immensely, but so can putting yourself first once in a while and asking "Is what is happening here good for me?".

Dr. Suess once said:

"Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you."

And that is so important for someone who struggles with self-worth or thinking that they aren't enough or even that they need to follow the crowd to "fit in" and be like everyone else.

Life is too short to be involved with toxic people who bring you down. Do not be afraid to stand up for yourself and even walk away if necessary.

And most importantly do not let anyone or anything define your worth.

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PSA: Keep Your Body-Negative Opinions Away From Little Girls This Summer

But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with.

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It's officially swimsuit season, y'all.

The temperature is rising, the sun is bright and shining, and a trip to the beach couldn't look more appealing than it does right now. This is the time of year that many of us have been rather impatiently waiting for. It's also the time of year that a lot of us feel our most self-conscious.

I could take the time to remind you that every body is a bikini body. I could type out how everyone is stunning in their own unique way and that no one should feel the need to conform to a certain standard of beauty to feel beautiful, male or female. I could sit here and tell you that the measurement of your waistline is not a reflection of your worth. I completely believe every single one of these things.

Hell, I've shared these exact thoughts more times than I can count. This time around, however, I'm not going to say all these things. Instead, I'm begging you to push your insecurities to the side and fake some confidence in yourself when you're in front of others.

Why?

Because our negative self-image is toxic and contagious and we're spreading this negative thinking on to others.

We're all guilty of this, we're with family or a friend and we make a nasty comment about some aspect of our appearance, not even giving a single thought to the impact our words have on the person with us. You might think that it shouldn't bother them- after all, we're not saying anything bad about them! We're just expressing our feelings about something we dislike about ourselves. While I agree that having conversations about our insecurities and feelings are important for our mental and emotional health, there is a proper and improper way of doing it. An open conversation can leave room for growth, acceptance, understanding, and healing. Making a rude or disheartening remark about yourself is destructive not only to yourself, but it will make the person you are saying these things around question their own self worth or body image by comparing themselves to you.

My little sister thinks she's "fat." She doesn't like how she looks. To use her own words, she thinks she's "too chubby" and that she "looks bad in everything."

She's 12 years old.

Do you want to know why she has this mindset? As her older sister, I failed in leading her by example. There were plenty of times when I was slightly younger, less sure of myself, and far more self-conscious than I am now, that I would look in the mirror and say that I looked too chubby, that my body didn't look good enough, that I wished I could change the size of my legs or stomach.

My little sister had to see the older sibling she looks up to, the big sis she thinks always looks beautiful, say awful and untrue things about herself because her own sense of body image was warped by media, puberty, and comparing herself to others.

My negativity rubbed off onto her and shaped how she looks at herself. I can just imagine her watching me fret over how I look thinking, "If she thinks she's too big, what does that make me?"

It makes me feel sick.

All of us are dealing with our own insecurities. It takes some of us longer than others to view ourselves in a positive, loving light. We're all working on ourselves every day, whether it be mentally, physically, or emotionally. But our own baggage shouldn't be shoved on to those we surround ourselves with, our struggles and insecurities should not form into their own burdens.

Work on yourself in private. Speak kindly of yourself in front of others. Let your positivity, real or not, spread to others instead of the bad feelings we have a bad habit of letting loose.

The little girls of the world don't need your or my negative self-image this summer. Another kid doesn't need to feel worthless because we couldn't be a little more loving to ourselves and a lot more conscious of what we say out loud.

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It's Okay To Not Have It All Together

Nobody is perfect.

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In this day and age, it's easy to compare yourself to others. With social media in our faces 24/7, you're exposed to everyone else's lives and what they are doing. There is no such thing as privacy anymore. What we put out there is subject for the world to see.

On Instagram, you may see someone from high school you despise studying abroad. On Snapchat, you may see an old friend landing their dream job. On Facebook, you may see your cousin getting engaged. On Twitter, you may see your best friend announce their commitment to a university for sports. While you may be happy for some of these people and their accomplishments, it can be hard to not feel unhappy about yourself. This can cast insecurity and doubt on yourself.

Stop comparing yourself to others. Social media is only a highlight reel, not the whole film. Although people post about good things on social media, they don't expose the truth. The truth is that not everyone's lives are full of sunshines and rainbows all the time. In fact, it is normal for people to have cloudy and stormy days among them.

The point is this: it's okay to not have it all together. If you feel lost or confused, don't worry. These feelings are only temporary. Everyone walks down the path of life at their own pace. If you're too busy comparing yourself to others, you're not going to get to where you want to be.

Whether if you don't know what to do as a career, or you're not always happy-go-lucky, don't put yourself down for it. It's part of being human. You're beautiful no matter what. The best experiences usually stem from the darkest of times. All you need is to light the spark that sets the flame. Don't ever give up despite how challenging it gets.

What's wonderful about this world we live in is that it's okay to make mistakes. You learn from them. No human is perfect after all. We weren't put on this planet to do everything right the first time. Everything happens for a reason. Trust that.

Even the ones you admire most once did not have a grip on what they wanted. They too started from scratch. They too felt uneasy about the future. They too were not sure that they were going to make it. Did they tear themselves apart,and tell themselves they were unworthy? Did they say that they were incapable?

No. They rose up. They fought against the odds. They did everything in their power to move forward. It took them soul searching, hard work, and persistence to get them to where they are today. They took the road less traveled, and it paid off. They built their lives on their own; brick by brick. They took their dreams and made them a reality.

You too can do that. Don't ever make yourself believe that you are not capable of living your best life. Don't ever belittle yourself. Don't be negative to the point that it becomes who you are. Don't be the one standing in your way.

What's stopping you from being okay with not being okay? Not having other people's approval? Not getting a million likes on social media? Not receiving praise, "good job", and "way to go"? This isn't kindergarten where everyone gets a participation trophy. If you feel stuck, and want to be unstuck, only you can change your outcome.

In the meantime, appreciate where you are today. I am sure that you are doing great. You're amazing. You can get through anything. Tough times and uncertainties are what will make you a better person at the end of the day. Those who didn't lift a finger to achieve their goals will soon learn the consequences.

You're doing the best you can. Don't be so hard on yourself. In fact, you may be doing wonderful, and you may not even see it. Life is too short to not appreciate the good with the bad; the dark with the light. It is what brings balance in our lives.

From this day forward, don't complain that you aren't where you want to be. Don't moan that your situation isn't your ideal. Get up, and do whatever it is that will point you in the right direction. Fall in love with yourself before, during, and after the process. Good things don't come to those who wait. Good things come to those who take control of their destiny.

But for now, take a few deep breaths. Relax. You're going to be okay. It's okay to not have it all together.

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