Throughout my entire life as a young woman, I have been taught that in order to feel complete and accomplished, I must settle with a husband when I'm young, have kids, and stay married until the day I die. Some women, however, don't buy into that mantra of “get married as quickly as possible,” and many women live their entire lives single. This doesn't mean they are crazy sociopaths who eat the hearts of men for breakfast; all it means is they prefer to stay in their own company, instead of finding a half-way decent man and compromising to his every whim for the rest of their short time on earth.

Don’t get me wrong, I'm not against marriage in the slightest, but what I am against are people staying in marriages that don't work for the sake of not appearing like a failure to their friends and family. Life is so incredibly short, regardless of if we want to accept it. Why would anyone stay married if their marriage didn't provide the fulfillment they craved? Think of it this way: would you stay in a career if every day it made you miserable, or decide to eat the same meal every day for the rest of your life just because it was what you were familiar with and you were afraid to try anything else? This article isn't meant to advocate for divorce. Divorce can be devastating, and if you find someone that you really love, then do spend your life with them. However, don't just suffer in silence in a dead marriage because you feel obligated. The only person’s opinion of you that should matter is yourself, and if you desperately want to get out of a relationship, then leave.

Who cares if one of your friends or family members get divorced? Quite frankly, it's none of your business! Or, if someone you know decides to stay single and never get married, that's their choice, too! Chelsea Handler recently wrote about her single-hood in a recent article, and she argues that single-hood is shamed more for women than for men, and that she continues to be asked when she will find a husband, even if she has no desire for one. Why do women get bombarded so often about their personal lives, and why are they viewed as incomplete because of their singlehood? Is a woman missing something if she doesn't live with a man to “guide” her? I say that single-hood is wonderful, and, like Jean-Paul Satre (whom Handler quoted) states, “If you are lonely when you're alone, you are in bad company.”

I've been raised around women who are afraid to be alone. They are afraid to go to school dances by themselves, be the only one of their friends without a boyfriend, get upset when they’re not asked on dates, or rush into marriage simply because they want the stability provided by it. This is ridiculous. A woman’s worth is not centered on her relationship status, nor is it the most important aspect about her.

For most of my teenage life, I've been single. Sure, I've gone on a group date here or there, but have never maintained a serious relationship or have had any kind of boyfriend, and that is my choice. Maybe the guy you like doesn't like you back because you're quirky and different; that is okay. Why should I settle for a guy just so I don't have to be alone? I'd rather be in my own company than in the company of someone who doesn't excite me.

I can tell based on my personality that I probably won't get married until my mid-to-late twenties, or even up into my early thirties. This is a concept which I have accepted. Your youth is meant for self discovery. It's about finding what it means to be an adult, and after the ridged social constraints of high school, it's about finding yourself. How can you find yourself when you are married to someone who expects you to act like them? My mother wasn't married until she was 29, which by most standards today, is pretty normal. However, many women in my own family feared she would end up alone if she didn't find a husband. She wanted to wait to find the guy she wanted, because she realized there is no benefit to rushing into marriage, and I have realized the same.

I hope that one day whoever I end up with will inspire me and allow me to be as free as I am now in my identity and self-expression, and if I by some chance end up an ‘old maid’, then I look forward to being alone and absolutely loving it.