20 Questions That Help Form Deep Connections With A Friend
Health Wellness

20 Questions To Ask That Person You've Always Wanted A Deep Connection With

Because "What's up?" just isn't cutting it anymore.


Anyone who knows me, even in the slightest, knows that I love to ask the weirdest, most random questions. However, as weird as some of them are sometimes, I love how much they make others think about themselves and their lives, even myself and my life.

Today, it's easy to get caught up in the humdrum activity of everyday life, to the point that we don't think anything of it. Monotonous replies like "Nothing much, you?" and "bored..." leaves the question "what's up?" begging for more. Getting to know someone is next to impossible these days, at least in my opinion. Therefore, I want to give you a little challenge. Next time you're hanging out with a friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, etc., ask each other these questions. You'll be surprised how much you'll learn about them, trust me.

As an added bonus, I'm going to answer these questions, too! You're about to learn A LOT about me... I don't know if that's good or bad, but I guess I'll let you decide that for yourself!

1. What color do you think in? Is it different from the color you talk in?

I definitely think in blues. Don't worry, it's not as melancholy as it sounds, at least not all the time. The majority of the time, I think in a sky blue or blue like the ocean on a clear day. In both, there's always a lot of stuff going on, yet that doesn't stress me out; I actually find it to be peaceful most of the time.

Now, when I talk, I talk in more of a blue/green because I am a bit more positive and calm than I am in my head. Also, I tend to be more nurturing when I talk versus when I think, and green makes me think of that.

2. What is your favorite feeling in the world?

Joy. I love the way it washes over me. I love how you feel joy throughout your whole body and not just in one section of it. I love how it makes my smile just that much bigger, and I love how contagious it is. Joy is absolutely beautiful.

3. When you look at the ocean, who/what is the first person/thing you think of?

When I see the ocean, I immediately think of life. Let's be real: life is pure chaos. There's beauty one day and torture the next, and no one knows why. This is overwhelming for many people, which is to be imagined. However, I think that the ocean represents a peaceful interpretation of life's chaos. The ocean just rolls with the punches; the ocean lives every emotion, every feeling of life. The ocean embraces the chaos and finds balance peace from it while humans tend to run from it. Every day the ocean inspires me to face life head-on, welcoming its chaos and making sense of it.

As for who I think of when I look at the ocean... now that's a little too personal. I have to leave you guessing, don't I?

4. Have you ever had a "mind-meld" with someone else? What was it like?

Oh all the time, but I never notice it until I find myself repeating all of their catchphrases and adopting them as my own subconsciously.

5. Have you ever had your soul communicate with someone else's? What was it like?

Honestly, I think I have. I think when it happens, you just know. When I close my eyes, I remember the moment like it just happened. Anxiety rushed through every vein in my body. The environment I was in made me thoroughly uncomfortable (I've never been one for parties), and it was taking every ounce of me to stay calm. Trying to stay calm, I put all of that energy into word vomiting in every conversation I had.

During one conversation, I remember looking down at the ground as I laughed, and as I looked up, I made eye contact with them across the room. The moment lasted for maybe five seconds, but the feeling of it will never leave me. As we locked eyes, I felt them ask me if I was doing okay, and my soul just replied without my brain even having the chance to intervene. I felt my soul say, "I am now, I'm okay." And then after that, my anxiety eased dramatically. And yes, I know how cheesy this all sounds, and I hate that it seems like it was pulled straight out of a YA novel. However, this moment was real for me, deeply and wildly and beautifully real.

6. If you had to choose a theme song for your life, what would it be?

I have to choose "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers. The absolute most important thing to me in the whole entire universe is helping others bear their burdens. Like the song says, we all need somebody to lean on, and I want to be that person for as many people as I can.

7. What is something that makes you feel like the sky?

What I mean by this question is what makes you feel weightless and never-ending? What makes you feel infinite? For me, it's golden hour. No matter how I'm feeling... when I see the goldenness of the sun displayed on the tree's leaves, when I feel the golden sunlight hit my skin, it feels as though I'm floating above the clouds. All of my problems, at least for that moment, are gone, and I feel unbelievable peace. For this hour, I feel infinite.

8. How would you describe your ideal day?

I'd wake up in a little cottage in Oregon, right on the coast. I'd sit outside with my Bible, my coffee, the ocean waves, and the sunrise. Then, I'd spend the rest of the day writing poetry and having deep conversations with the people I love. But to end it all off, I'd, of course, watch the sun set over the waves of the magnificent ocean.

9. What emotion do you find yourself feeling the most?

Love. I know, I know... cheesy. But I don't mean love in a romantic sense but in a religious sense. I always find myself feeling God's love for me everywhere I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

10. When in your life have you experienced the most joy?

I would say that I experienced the most joy one year at Bigstuf Camps (youth group camp I went to in high school) during the very last night, which was a concert. I remember the band covered "Real Love" by Hillsong Young & Free, and there was confetti out the wazoo falling all around us. As the confetti was falling and everyone was dancing, I was feeling so much joy and love that the moment felt like it was happening in slow motion. There's something so joyful about people dancing, cheering, and singing their hearts out to Jesus; I loved every second of it.

Shoutout to Bigstuf Camps, you guys are the best!

11. What makes you come alive?

I talk about it all the time, but golden hour (the hour before sunset) makes me feel SO alive for some reason. Also, the Eucharist makes me feel revived each time I receive it. Live love the Eucharist, amirite Catholics?!

12. What is most important to you: physical touch, quality time, words of affirmation, receiving gifts, or acts of service? Why?

I would say words of affirmation and quality time are most important to me because it's how I build my trust in someone else.

13. Would you say the outer you represents the inner you?

Recently, I would say yes and no. Yes because I think the outer me gleams like the inner me now, but no because the inner me feels really healthy while the outer me is not (working on it!).

14. Has life tought you anything recently?

Definitely. Life has taught me two important lessons over the summer.

First, you can do everything in your power to keep someone in your life, but if they aren't willing to give even the slightest back in return, you will lose them. It's going to suck and it's going to hurt, but there's nothing you can do about it. If they're meant to be in your life, time will bring them back to you.

Second, you never know when you could lose someone. Life is fragile and easily lost, and you have to acknowledge that. None of us know when we're going to die, so live each day spreading all the love you can in the world. Tell your family and your friends that you love them, tell the world that you love it. Basically, I've learned to embrace the fragility of life.

15. What do people misunderstand about you the most?

Definitely my thought process and how deeply I feel things.

16. Who has greatly changed your life?

My mom, forever and always. She's the absolute greatest person in the world, and every day she blows me away with the amount of compassion and selflessness she possesses. Shout out to my amazing mother! I love you, Mom!

17. How do you cope with your hardships?

It depends on what it is. Either I vent about it to one unfortunate soul, or I isolate myself for a couple days to process it. No matter what it is though, I ALWAYS pray through it. Always.

18. What is holding you back from being truly happy and peaceful?

The people I haven't forgiven for hurting me in the past.

19. Is there someone that you love, but you haven't told them? If so, why haven't you?

Nope, I'm pretty open about who I love. It goes along with embracing the fragility of life in my opinion; if there's the possibility of losing someone I love tomorrow, I'm going to spend all of today making sure they know I love them.

20. What do you value the most in a friendship? Why?

H O N E S T Y!

You absolutely cannot have trust without honesty. I've been lied to a lot in my life, and each time hurts more than the previous. For me, dishonesty is the highest degree of betrayal in any kind of relationship, and I can't stand it. I'd rather be hurt by the truth than blindsided by a lie, you know what I mean? Honesty produces the greatest and strongest friendships in my opinion.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.

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