Death, Taxes And Mistakes

Death, Taxes And Mistakes

Simple thoughts on making a marriage work.
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A famous person once said that the only things in life that were certain were death and taxes. He said a lot about life and was an inventor of many things. Without even knowing him, he was your original cheerleader. While he is known for his inventions such as the lightning rod and bifocal glasses, Benjamin Franklin should also be known for his belief in marriage. He was a big supporter in marriage, as many of his quotes involve it, but he was also a believer in never giving up. Whether or not these two beliefs correlate with one another is up to you, but I would like to think that he was a believer in never giving up on your marriage.

Franklin said that, “Marriage is the most natural state of man, and the state in which you will find solid happiness.” He knew that a person was not meant to go through life alone. He also knew that, with the right person, anything is possible. I believe that once you find the right person and marry, everything else falls into place. That however is not to say that marriage is easy because it isn’t. Marriage takes every fiber of your being to make it work.

Something he should have included in the things that are certain is mistakes. We as humans are imperfect and fallible. Instead of running away from mistakes, Franklin embraced them. He said not to fear them, but to know failure and keep trying. Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of selflessness to be a partner in life. Mistakes are going to happen. Maybe you burnt your spouse’s favorite dinner or ruined their favorite shirt in the wash. Learn from these mistakes and move on. Perfect the recipe and figure out what went wrong when washing the shirt. The best part about these mistakes is that you can face them head on, learn from them and never do these things again.

Franklin understood failure more than anyone. Even after shocking himself during an experiment with lightning, he kept on going. He conducted many experiments during the summer of 1747 and many experiments in the years to follow. With that he discovered electricity, one of the greatest inventions in history. He said that “energy and persistence conquer all things.” That proves true in marriage as well. With two people putting constant energy and persistence into a marriage, a divorce will never happen. This means giving your marriage and your spouse all of you.

He also said that, “If we do not hang together, we shall surely hang separately.” Some could argue that divorce is the answer to a tough marriage, but I disagree. I believe that when you decide to marry a person, you take them as who they are and everything that comes with them. You take all their damage, all their baggage and all their faults. On the other side, they take all your damage, baggage and all your faults as well. Together you take on life, the good and the bad. If you find yourself in a tough spot, stick it out together. Help each other carry your burdens, it helps lighten the load. Confide in your spouse about your problems and figure your way out together.

When your marriage gets tough, stick it out. At some point you chose that person to be your spouse for a reason, so find that reason. Just because you have a fight or a problem doesn’t mean that your marriage is over. It just means you need to find the right reason to keep pushing forward. Divorce shouldn’t be a backup plan in marriage; divorce should be a last resort. Remember that we aren’t guaranteed a happily ever after, but we are guaranteed death and taxes. Find that someone to fill in all the gaps in between and make it work.

Cover Image Credit: Monica Barrett

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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