Death, Taxes And Mistakes

Death, Taxes And Mistakes

Simple thoughts on making a marriage work.
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A famous person once said that the only things in life that were certain were death and taxes. He said a lot about life and was an inventor of many things. Without even knowing him, he was your original cheerleader. While he is known for his inventions such as the lightning rod and bifocal glasses, Benjamin Franklin should also be known for his belief in marriage. He was a big supporter in marriage, as many of his quotes involve it, but he was also a believer in never giving up. Whether or not these two beliefs correlate with one another is up to you, but I would like to think that he was a believer in never giving up on your marriage.

Franklin said that, “Marriage is the most natural state of man, and the state in which you will find solid happiness.” He knew that a person was not meant to go through life alone. He also knew that, with the right person, anything is possible. I believe that once you find the right person and marry, everything else falls into place. That however is not to say that marriage is easy because it isn’t. Marriage takes every fiber of your being to make it work.

Something he should have included in the things that are certain is mistakes. We as humans are imperfect and fallible. Instead of running away from mistakes, Franklin embraced them. He said not to fear them, but to know failure and keep trying. Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of selflessness to be a partner in life. Mistakes are going to happen. Maybe you burnt your spouse’s favorite dinner or ruined their favorite shirt in the wash. Learn from these mistakes and move on. Perfect the recipe and figure out what went wrong when washing the shirt. The best part about these mistakes is that you can face them head on, learn from them and never do these things again.

Franklin understood failure more than anyone. Even after shocking himself during an experiment with lightning, he kept on going. He conducted many experiments during the summer of 1747 and many experiments in the years to follow. With that he discovered electricity, one of the greatest inventions in history. He said that “energy and persistence conquer all things.” That proves true in marriage as well. With two people putting constant energy and persistence into a marriage, a divorce will never happen. This means giving your marriage and your spouse all of you.

He also said that, “If we do not hang together, we shall surely hang separately.” Some could argue that divorce is the answer to a tough marriage, but I disagree. I believe that when you decide to marry a person, you take them as who they are and everything that comes with them. You take all their damage, all their baggage and all their faults. On the other side, they take all your damage, baggage and all your faults as well. Together you take on life, the good and the bad. If you find yourself in a tough spot, stick it out together. Help each other carry your burdens, it helps lighten the load. Confide in your spouse about your problems and figure your way out together.

When your marriage gets tough, stick it out. At some point you chose that person to be your spouse for a reason, so find that reason. Just because you have a fight or a problem doesn’t mean that your marriage is over. It just means you need to find the right reason to keep pushing forward. Divorce shouldn’t be a backup plan in marriage; divorce should be a last resort. Remember that we aren’t guaranteed a happily ever after, but we are guaranteed death and taxes. Find that someone to fill in all the gaps in between and make it work.

Cover Image Credit: Monica Barrett

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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I’d Much Rather Celebrate Valentine’s Day With My Single Girlfriends Than Any Guy

Bring on the pizza and ice cream because Valentine's Day is Girls Only this year.

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Being single during any time of the year is difficult, but it can be even harder with Valentine's Day quickly approaching. People either love it or love to hate it. It's a day filled with dramatic romantic gestures, carefully planned dates, and an abundance of roses and chocolates. Well, at least for some it is. The pressure to have a "Valentine" as well as have the perfect evening is so high that in my option it completely takes the fun out of the day. So this Valentine's Day, I won't be stressing over the perfect outfit, restaurant or date. Instead, I'll be deciding if I should have another slice of pizza while my girlfriends try to figure out which cheesy rom-com we should watch next.

I don't hate Valentine's Day, I actually think it's really romantic. I think it's great that some people find happiness in grand gestures and extravagant presents. When I feel about someone strongly enough, I'm sure I'd do the same, but as of right now I don't. I don't want to be someone valentine or worry about finding the perfect gift. I want to focus on myself and just have a fun night with my girls. We worry so much about what everyone has to say about the things we do that often times we don't make any decisions for ourselves. Be a little selfish and do only what you want. Order too much food, break out the wine, and enjoy a stress-free night with the people that mean the most to you.

You will find me on the couch with my sorority sisters most likely catching up on "The Bachelor" or ruining our diets with dollar store sweets. And yes, I know there's an unofficial holiday already called, "Galentine's Day" (which I will be celebrating too) that's for ladies celebrating ladies. Who says you can't do it two nights in a row? Who says that Valentine's Day has to be a day spent with a romantic partner?

This is me telling you to take this day to have some fun and ignore the pressures society (and ourselves) put on ourselves constantly. Surround yourself with the people who support you; the ones who stick around through it all and love you unconditionally. If you still want to stay in the festive mood, you can exchange valentines with your friends and treat each other with chocolate hearts. And if you want to celebrate Valentine's Day with your significant other, go ahead, I'm not stopping you.

So, no matter what Valentine's Day for you is, celebrate it however you want. Dress up to the nines and have the night of your life. Stay in, order takeout, and fall asleep watching a movie. Hang out with your girlfriends, guy friends, or both! It doesn't matter how you do Valentine's Day, but rather who you spend it with.

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