A famous person once said that the only things in life that were certain were death and taxes. He said a lot about life and was an inventor of many things. Without even knowing him, he was your original cheerleader. While he is known for his inventions such as the lightning rod and bifocal glasses, Benjamin Franklin should also be known for his belief in marriage. He was a big supporter in marriage, as many of his quotes involve it, but he was also a believer in never giving up. Whether or not these two beliefs correlate with one another is up to you, but I would like to think that he was a believer in never giving up on your marriage.
Franklin said that, “Marriage is the most natural state of man, and the state in which you will find solid happiness.” He knew that a person was not meant to go through life alone. He also knew that, with the right person, anything is possible. I believe that once you find the right person and marry, everything else falls into place. That however is not to say that marriage is easy because it isn’t. Marriage takes every fiber of your being to make it work.
Something he should have included in the things that are certain is mistakes. We as humans are imperfect and fallible. Instead of running away from mistakes, Franklin embraced them. He said not to fear them, but to know failure and keep trying. Marriage is hard. It takes a lot of selflessness to be a partner in life. Mistakes are going to happen. Maybe you burnt your spouse’s favorite dinner or ruined their favorite shirt in the wash. Learn from these mistakes and move on. Perfect the recipe and figure out what went wrong when washing the shirt. The best part about these mistakes is that you can face them head on, learn from them and never do these things again.
Franklin understood failure more than anyone. Even after shocking himself during an experiment with lightning, he kept on going. He conducted many experiments during the summer of 1747 and many experiments in the years to follow. With that he discovered electricity, one of the greatest inventions in history. He said that “energy and persistence conquer all things.” That proves true in marriage as well. With two people putting constant energy and persistence into a marriage, a divorce will never happen. This means giving your marriage and your spouse all of you.
He also said that, “If we do not hang together, we shall surely hang separately.” Some could argue that divorce is the answer to a tough marriage, but I disagree. I believe that when you decide to marry a person, you take them as who they are and everything that comes with them. You take all their damage, all their baggage and all their faults. On the other side, they take all your damage, baggage and all your faults as well. Together you take on life, the good and the bad. If you find yourself in a tough spot, stick it out together. Help each other carry your burdens, it helps lighten the load. Confide in your spouse about your problems and figure your way out together.
When your marriage gets tough, stick it out. At some point you chose that person to be your spouse for a reason, so find that reason. Just because you have a fight or a problem doesn’t mean that your marriage is over. It just means you need to find the right reason to keep pushing forward. Divorce shouldn’t be a backup plan in marriage; divorce should be a last resort. Remember that we aren’t guaranteed a happily ever after, but we are guaranteed death and taxes. Find that someone to fill in all the gaps in between and make it work.