A little over a year ago, I remember riding my way back form Orientation Leader retreat. I had gone from talking to the person sitting next to me to looking at my phone. I opened up Instagram and I scrolled through what was recent. The next thing I see is the death of my friend, Madison Ramsey.
I didn't know what to say or what to do, and I didn't speak of her loss until I came across her funeral page on Facebook three days later.
"Should I share it and write something?", I questioned myself. "But I don't want to receive any pity. I hope this person doesn't see it. What if that person sees it?"
I went into this whole loophole as I started to play the "What-if..." game and then decided that I'd say something after midnight, hoping that people would fall asleep by then and the post wouldn't show up on their feed by the next morning they open their app, because that's what people do right?
I was wrong.
I was hoping one specific person, the same person who sat next to me back from retreat, wouldn't come across the post with an intention behind that I didn't want to be seen with shame or misfortune.
"Okay stop." I said to myself. "Stop caring about what other people think and just say what you want to say."
I shared Madison's funeral page after midnight, briefly expressed her strength and courage on the post, and fell asleep.
The next morning, I wake up to find a long, sincere message from the one person I was hoping who wouldn't come across the post. I noticed that the message was sent an hour after I posted the funeral page. The message had blessed me and had overtime turned into an authentic friendship that soon led to the beginning of my spiritual journey in college.
A letter to Madison:
It's been over a year since you've left us, but there are many who continue to cherish the memories they have of you. You are kind, you are strong, you are brave, and the amount of tears over your loss will never be compared to how much you are loved. You left a legacy in which it marked new beginnings in my life through meeting important people and learning so much. You lived a life that taught others to have a grateful heart and to be persistent even through the worst. I believe you are now in a place free of pain and of eternal happiness. Thank you for being a light to others with your presence and for continuing to be a light with your spirit.
See you soon friend!