How often do you hear someone say, “this makes me want to kill myself” or “I wish I was dead” in a joking manner? How often do you find yourself saying it without even thinking about it?

I’ve heard it three times in less than 24 hours.

More often than not, we don’t even blink an eye when phrases like this are said. It has become part of our generation’s mainstream vocabulary. They’re just silly words, right? Wrong. The implications behind them run so much deeper than we tend to realize.

One time in middle school, I finished my work early and wrote "DEATH" on my computer screen. My teacher freaked out. It was my last class of the day, just before dismissal and I was sent to the guidance counselor for writing one simple word without comprehending the negative conclusions people would reach. I thought it was ridiculous at the time, and still do, but I understand where my teacher saw a cause for concern.

I take note when people make statements like this. It’s like there’s a sensor in my brain that goes off every time; a little signal wondering if I should read more into it. Sure, most of the time people are just messing around. They feel sick and say, “God, I wish I was dead” or they had a long day at work and mutter, “F**k, this job makes me want to kill myself.” They have no real intention of hurting themselves and don’t actually want to die, they just feel terrible at the moment.

Ultimately, we need to find better words to describe our feelings. Instead of saying you want to die or talking about killing yourself when you’re simply frustrated, annoyed or any other range of emotions, just say what you mean. Don't coat it with death. Death isn’t a matter to take lightly.

When you say you want to kill yourself, someone within earshot or even one of your friends could be contemplating suicide or knew someone who committed suicide. They reply with a “yeah, same” or “I feel you” and shrug it off but it impacts them in a way that never even crossed your mind. No matter what anyone says, words to hurt.

You never know what someone is going through.

Even if they tell you what’s going on, you still have no idea what’s happening inside of their head. You never know if, by making this statement, they’re giving you some kind of forewarning; a “brushed-over, ha-ha you’re totally kidding” heads-up that they plan to take their own life. They want you to notice, to care, to say ANYTHING to keep them from going through with it.

It’s not easy to blatantly tell someone that you want to kill yourself. It’s even harder to explain why. People expect an explanation but they rarely want to accept the one you give; labeling it as unreasonable. Suicide is a complex concept which makes understanding a challenge unless you’ve gone through it personally.