Relationships

Dear Those Pretending to be Okay

07 June 2016 //
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Dear You,

Yes, you. The one pretending to be okay when inside you're trying with everything you have to hold it together. Stop. It's okay to not be okay. You don't have to pretend everything is fine. In fact, you shouldn't. If you continue to keep your struggles inside it will continue to not get better.

Dear you pretending to be okay because you don't want to be looked at as weak,

I was in your spot recently. I never wanted to be looked at as weak. I thought handling everything by myself and not bothering anyone with my problems was the way to go. Yeah, it's not. Admitting you are struggling is a sign of strength. Knowing you need help and admitting you cannot make it through the storm by yourself, is a sign of strength. When you're in these situations, it's hard to admit this. You want people to look at you as this strong person who can handle everything life throws at you. When in reality, this is a high expectation to hold of yourself. Everyone struggles, this life wasn't meant to be easy. And it certainly wasn't meant to be walked through alone.

Dear you pretending to be okay because you feel your problems aren't that bad,

When looking around and seeing other people's problems, it's easy to be like, 'oh mine aren't that bad.' Then, you continue to hold them in because you don't want to bring attention to yourself when people are dying in the world. Life gets hard sometimes and while one's battle might be tougher than another's, no battle is easy and no battle should be fought alone.

Dear you pretending to be okay because everyone around you is struggling,

I know you want to be strong, but eventually you are going to break down. One of the hardest things for me is seeing other people struggle and being strong for them when I myself can't be strong. It's very grueling to be there for everyone else and make sure everyone else is okay while you're dealing with your own demons. I know you want to try and remain strong, but your friends will be there for you if you are for them.

Dear you pretending to be okay because you feel like no one understands,

For awhile, I felt like I was alone in my struggles and no one understood. Trust me, someone out there understands. You will find them. Whether it be a friend, a family member, a professor, a counselor or a church leader, someone out there is willing to help if you let them.

Dear you pretending to be okay. Stop. It's okay to not be okay.

We all struggle in life and it's okay to struggle. We all do. One of the hardest things for me was reminding myself it was normal to experience trials and tribulations. I love Tenth Avenue North and one of their songs is the Struggle. In it they sing, "Hallelujah we are free to struggle." You are allowed to struggle. It's cliche, but let go and let God. He is present through every storm and every struggle you will face. After all, he already knows what's going on in your life.

So, for you pretending to be okay, you don't have to anymore. Allow yourself to ask for help. It is harder holding on to something and masking your emotions. It is harder to continue to wake up and act strong. There is always someone willing to help you, you just got to find them. Look up, the best one is waiting for you to come to him. God will never leave you, remember that.