Dear September,

Back the heck UP! I haven’t even checked off everything on my summer 2k17 bucket list nor did I complete my summer goal list. However, I checked off quite a lot on my I-watched-this-entire-Netflix-series list, but I’m not sure if that’s something worth boasting about. While my eyes feasted on episode after episode, my mouth chomped down on some cheap ol’ junk food. That’s right – I’m talking take out, Postmates, Pizza Hut, Denny’s hash browns, or whatever treasures my fridge possessed. Let’s be real – it’s summertime, aka the ultimate excuse to sit on your booty, relax, and “treat yo self” (shoutout to my Parks and Rec fans). I could care less about what I put in my tummy or how many steps I’ve tracked for the day (no offense, Fitbit). Eventually, the scale and mirror started shaking their heads at me (yes, I’m personifying inanimate objects) and I suddenly began to follow in the same motion; wait, what have I done?

September, buddy, I still need time. You don’t understand, I’ve barely even hit the gym! The closest I’ve been to a workout was sweating under the summer sun in my bikini that barely fits me anymore. My goal of achieving a summer body may have to be adjusted…I might just aim for a “winter” body now, can we make that a thing? Ugh, I blame it on all the time my summer job took up. I mean seriously, I was working like a dog. Where did all my earnings go? I’m not too sure, I stopped tracking my transactions after the 5th thin crust Domino’s pizza delivered to my home.

September, I am in no way ready to go back to school. You see, I’m still in this state of mind commonly referred to as “summer mode.” I don’t even think I own a No.2 pencil let alone a piece of lined paper. And don’t even get me started with what I need to fork up for textbooks (which I probably won’t be buying, thanks again, money-guzzling Pizza Hut!). Also, where do we get those forms to change major for the 5th time in a row? I’m going to need one of those.

I'm gonna have to revamp my bucket/goal list and make it "fall edition," or even winter edition - let's hope I don't have to push it back that far. September, you're really killing me, man.