Dear past me,
This is weird, isn't it?
Wasn't it easier when your only worry was the time running out before you had to go to bed on a school night? Wasn't it simpler when you relied on others when you had little to no responsibilities?
You went to the same school with the same classmates and the same teachers, doing the same things every single year. You had a daily routine. You felt invincible. Nothing could stop you.
Time was not going to fly. But guess what? It snuck past you before you could catch it.
You were not prepared for this.
You were not ready for this wake-up call. You were not aware that this life was not going to be all rainbows and unicorns. You thought it was easy, but you were sadly mistaken.
You now realize that this life can be tough. This life has real grown-up obstacles. This life is full of tears and heartbreak, but it is also full of unexpected miracles.
Did you already feel that confusing transition, turning from a young little girl to a grown woman? Yeah, didn't it almost hurt?
It was painful having to move away from home, to a new place with new people. It was painful having your family structure break apart after you had said multiple times that nothing could have been torn. It was hurtful wondering why there were things you couldn't change. It was so easy to understand and run along with as a child.
You had been living in a so-called fairytale until you hit eighteen-years-old and planned for someday.
Someday is here, and you absolutely cringe. You're scared.
It sucks to get older. It really does.
But you will enjoy this life. There will be times when you'll want to cry forever, and there will be times when you will not stop smiling.
There will be a beautiful relationship to look forward to after you go through the shitty one. There will be many adventures made with this special someone. Your heart will remain happy, you'll never want it to end.
There will be times of achievement when you think you couldn't have done it, but you did. There will be times when you absolutely hate everyone and everything; when you'll want to just hide away in your own world. You'll want to shut everything out.
There will be times when you will not understand why everything happens for a reason. There will be times when you will, and it will be glorious.
There are going to be times when things will not feel the same. Yeah, just to let you know, that's how it feels when you grow up. It's heartbreaking, honestly. It's a gut-wrenching punch that you can't avoid.
But please, do not lose your focus.
God knows you are strong and willing to handle this life. He put you here in this position, right here and right now, for a reason. You're a trooper, so you must do what you do best and keep on going.
I know this is not what you thought it would be. Life really is hard, regardless of the word you hear on the street and through the grapevine. I just want you to know.
You weren't prepared for this.
And that's okay.
I would wish you the best of luck in your future endeavors, but I don't think you need it. You are capable of changing the world and making it better. You have that plan still, right?
Never lose sight of it. Even if it changes, you will still end up alright in this life.
Little did you know that this life would be completely different from what you expected.
You'll be okay. You got this.
Be strong.
Love,
Future You