Recently, an article entitled "Dear White Parents, You Need to STOP Doing These 13 Things" was published by an Odyssey creator from Kennesaw State University, and in it, the author made some very bold blanket statements about the wrongdoings of white parents when raising their children.
Personally, I do not know what the race/ethnicity of the author is, they could just as easily be white themselves or identify as another race, but as someone who identifies as white (yes, I recognize my privilege) and was raised by white parents, I do have more than a few discrepancies with the opinions held in this article.
Instead of making the typical "I'm a white girl, and here's why you're wrong for bringing race into the equation" counter-article, I decided that my energies would be better spent thanking my parents for all the things they did right when I was growing up.
1. Not letting me or my siblings run wild in stores.
You better believe that during trips to the grocery store or the mall, my siblings and I stuck to our parents' sides like glue out of sheer fear of getting lost. When you're 4 years old, stores look absolutely HUGE. Why the hell would I ever even consider deviating from the safety of a parent? It was a given that we were expected to behave ourselves when out in public, and on the off chance that we did happen to get separated, there was never any "running wild." If anything maybe some aimless wandering around the cereal aisle for 30 seconds.
2. Making us clean up our messes.
There was not a chance in hell that either me or my siblings would ever be caught making a mess in a store. Like I said, it was pretty rare when I was a toddler that I would go unsupervised in public and aside from maybe pressing the buttons on all of the "Tickle Me Elmos" in Target at once, there was no way making a mess of the store would have been tolerated in any way, shape, or form. At home, of course, it would be a different story, but even then, if my toys were scattered all over the basement I wouldn't be allowed to see friends or watch TV until it was all cleaned up.
3. Teaching us to respect our teachers.
Ever since preschool, my siblings and I were taught that our teachers were there to help us and that we needed to practice good behavior even in school. Of course, yes, there were some missteps along the way, and if there was a behavior problem, our parents would work with our teachers to help solve it.
4. Holding us accountable for our own grades.
Again, if there was an issue with grades our parents would go to meetings with our teachers to find out exactly why we might be struggling in a class as a final resort, but first and foremost, my siblings and I are always held accountable for the grades that we deserved. We passed (or failed) on our own, and if extra tutoring was needed, after 8th grade, we were expected to reach out to other students that were performing well in the class. We were expected to do all of our own projects and complete all of our own worksheets. Of course they would help us if the elementary school project required a hot glue gun or an essay needed proofreading, but it was ultimately all our own work.
5. Teaching us to respect you.
Discipline was a bit different for each of the three of us, but ultimately, copious amounts of "back talk" were not tolerated.
6. Not being the "participation trophy" parents.
Admittedly, I did have to learn how to work hard in middle school when math became incredibly difficult and was not as easy as I had experienced in elementary school. Aside from sports teams that would give every kid a trophy at the end of the season by default, my parents didn't just tell us, "good job" unless they meant it. If I played completely out of tune at a violin recital, trust me, they could tell.
7. Not giving us "everything we want when we want it."
It simply didn't happen. Temper tantrums were not tolerated- my parents provided, and continue to provide, me and my siblings with not everything that we want, but definitely everything that we need.
8. For vaccinating us.
This one really shouldn't require an explanation. Vaccinations save lives. Everyone should vaccinate their kids to prevent Polio from coming back. If you have access to vaccines and still don't vaccinate your kid, then you might actually be insane.
9. Holding us accountable for our actions.
If we hurt one of our friend's feelings or showed any kind of disrespect towards another person, we were always told to apologize and admit when we were wrong.
10. Teaching us how to do chores and everyday errands.
My mom taught me how to do the laundry when I was 12 years old, and from that day on I was expected to help if and when I was asked. As soon as each of us were old enough to walk our dog around the neighborhood alone, we were expected to walk him once a day each. Getting my license meant helping out with carpooling my siblings to their activities.
11. Letting us follow our dreams.
This one gets me because whilst my parents have always been realistic, they have never said that we couldn't or shouldn't be able to follow our dreams. For instance, I have always wanted to be an author, but my dad brought it to my attention that I could always be an author, no matter what I studied in college. So instead of pursuing a creative writing degree (and absolutely no disrespect to those who are), I found that being a Spanish major was a better fit for me, and now I'm spending my junior year abroad in Spain, learning Spanish, which has been a dream of mine since I was 11 years old!