Dear you,

This isn’t an I hate you letter and this most definitely is not an I want to get back together letter. I guess this is more of an I wish I had told you these things kind of letter.

When we broke up, I continually prayed that I would stop being in love with you. That day has come and that is why I am writing this now. I will always love you, but I am no longer in love with you. I would still do anything for you, but I have come to terms with our breakup and now understand it was for the best.

First of all, we had some great times together. Over two years is a long time to spend with a person and we made a lot of great memories. You were my best friend for a long time. You will always be my first love. I haven’t forgot those times but, I also haven’t forgotten the pointless fights and late night arguments either.

I don’t hate you, but I think that I deserved more than getting broken up with over the phone. You owed me more than that, but I know you agree and understand that now. I also don’t appreciate you dating one of my friends two months after we broke up. Seeing you with her hurt, a lot. But I’m not mad anymore. Oh I was, don’t get me wrong but I’m over that phase. Overall, our breakup could have been a lot worse, and I know that we can still be friends.

I learned a lot from our relationship. I learned to love. I learned to be selfless. I learned to compromise. I learned that I enjoy being a girlfriend. I learned long distance isn’t that difficult if you both put a lot of effort into the relationship. We worked hard to keep our relationship strong, even though went to college in different states for almost half the time. Then, things began to fall apart when we no longer put the same amount of effort in as we used to.

I also learned a lot from our breakup. I learned that I am not good at being vulnerable. I learned that I can’t trust everyone. I learned that I’m stronger than I think I am. I learned I don’t like to let people in. I also learned that I don’t need a boyfriend. I learned that I like being single, and it's fun. I learned that I needed time to figure out what I truly want in life and you just aren’t in those plans anymore.

Now, I want to let you know I miss you. Not in a romantic way, but in a friendship way. You were not just my boyfriend, but also my friend. You were the first one I called with good news or heartbreaking news. You were the person I couldn’t stop talking about. You were the person I missed the most when we were apart. You were such a big part of my life and I wasn’t prepared for all of that to disappear. I miss your family, especially on holidays that I used to spend at your house. I also miss all of our friends who are now more your friends than mine.

I do not understand why we aren’t better friends. We got along and hung out for a while after the breakup, but now our friendship has turned into a one-way street. I’ve tried to keep in touch, but you don’t seem to care anymore. I am mad that you couldn't even take a minute out of your day to text me on my birthday. Your family wished me happy birthday, but I got nothing from you. I guess I’m being selfish, but I just want to know why. I never thought that we wouldn’t be friends, but now we seem like complete strangers. I miss hearing about your life and I miss telling you about mine.

Yes, we’ve probably both been with other people now. I am ok with that, but its still going to hurt when you get your next serious girlfriend. It’s going to be difficult seeing you with someone else, and it will remind me of all the great times we had together. I know we were not meant to end up together, but that doesn’t mean it’ll be easy seeing you move on.

Overall, I wanted to say thank you. Thank you for being my first love and I want you to know I would never let our breakup overshadow the amazing times we spent together. We went through things together that people shouldn’t have to handle at our age. I thank God that you were by my side to face one of the most difficult time in our lives, but we just couldn’t survive it together. I truly hope you are doing ok. I hope you are taking care of yourself and I want you to know I will always be here for you.

Love,

Me