Dear Matthew,

I saw the scar on your hand today. When I did, I wanted it to be raining, but it wasn’t. There wasn’t a damn cloud in the sky. I hated it more than I thought I would.

I hated that scar so much.

Our scars were ours. The blood I gave you—that part of me I won’t ever get back.

Do you remember when we made our pact? It was the last day of summer—tomorrow, we’d start middle school, and we were positive our childhoods would die then.

You and I decided to make this last night count. We arranged to meet at The Fort at 7:30, so we could see the last sun of summer set finally beneath our trees. I finished up my supper and announced I was going to the Fort—Mom told me to be back by 9:30, because, after all, it was a school night.

I got to the Fort early. You got there late. I pretended to not see the red in your eyes, or the light bruise coming to color under your chin.

“Hey,” I said.

“Hey.” Your voice was empty. You couldn’t look at me.

“I have it.”

You perked up. “Really?”

“Yeah.” I fished out the contraband—a Swiss Army Knife—and handed it to you.

“Oh ****,” you said, and I felt a rush of adrenaline, because cursing was still alien then. “Your dad will KILL you if he finds out.”

I smirked. “Worth it.”

You looked up. There was life back in your eyes. “Let’s do it.”

My heart was racing. You pried open the blade. Orange sunlight shimmered on the silver. I couldn’t look away. “We’ll do it to each other,” you said.

“Okay.”

I handed you my palm. You placed the cold blade to my skin, and ripped. A thin line of crimson emerged. I don’t remember it hurting, but maybe it did. Then I did the same to you. And we shook.

I began to pull away my hand, but you stopped me, and you were staring into my eyes. I’d never seen you so serious. “This is forever,” you finally said.

Well forever isn’t long enough. You’re selfish, you know that, you’re a jerk. How could you just take yourself away from us? What am I supposed to do now?

I’m sorry. Dr. Parker said the best way to begin healing was to get this out, but I look at my palm and I see that scar and I know these wounds won’t heal.

Not for a long time.

But I hope you found what you were looking for.

Your best friend,

Calvin