Dear Kelsey of November 2015,

At this moment, you are the happiest you have ever been. You are the Editor-in-Chief of your newspaper (while attempting to not think about your possible future in journalism, but I'll get to that later). And, you are finally a section leader- perhaps your greatest accomplishment. You are doing well in classes (maybe except for that anatomy course), and are involved in a multitude of other clubs. Maybe I won’t talk about home life, but if you want to, I will. Timmy is still living at home and not paying for any bills. Also, Chris is still spending a lot of his time in his room. You are constantly trying to help your mom. You love her.

I hate to break this to you, but I am you. I’m sorry. This is not what you expected. You wanted to rebel and go to USF and major in nursing, but that just didn’t happen.

You, Kelsey, are me.

You have bad days. You have some days when you have zero idea as to why you are still alive. You want to take someone’s place because living in this empty shell gets lonely sometimes.

I’m here to give you some advice, I guess. I want you to try and be okay with me even though it was a huge downgrade.

Get used to the cold. Yes, that’s a hint, isn’t it? You ended up going where your mom wanted you to go. You are just a half hour outside of her hometown. It snows here. Please, get snow boots sooner rather than later.

You just changed your major to journalism.

YOU CAN SCREAM AND GASP, BUT YES YOU SOLD YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL AND ARE NOW STUDYING ENGLISH.

Now that that is out of the way, I want to tell you to live.

I know, it doesn’t seem like I do that all the time. But, you know what? I have to try at living ten times harder than the next person. So, I guess I could tell you to live the most you can. Some days, yeah, living might be a burden, but, days like today, the one you are having right now, is what is getting me through. On these bad days, I think about your section. Ashley, Marshall, and even Marissa bring light into my life now. I love them deeply becasue they accepted me when I was at my high (you) and when I was at my low (me).

I think you were so afraid to change, you forced yourself to stay in a shell until the shell had too many cracks. Kelsey, your shell broke, perhaps it even broke a long time ago. But, with counseling (YES YOU ARE IN COUNSELING), you are beginning to mend a whole new shell. One that has a few open cracks to let people in.

I think that this is the most important thing you need to hear in this letter:

Kelsey, you are still Kelsey.

No matter how much you have changed, you are still you. Do not let anyone tell you any differently.