It’s that time of year again, when finals are among us. While finals signal hope for fun summer weather, and three months without classroom responsibilities, they also signal the end of being an underclassman. Now, I don’t know about the rest of my fellow sophomores, but anytime anyone says, “I can’t believe we are almost juniors,” a wave a panic and dread fills my body. While junior year does bring the promise of more interesting classes, more comfort in my environment, and more memories with my friends, it also brings the promise of the future.
As a sophomore or freshman, it was easy to picture the future as some far off concept that I cannot yet even begin to fathom. Unfortunately, as juniors we do not get the luxury. The end is near, we can see it, and it scares the life out of me. It is time to start deciding for real what I want to do with my life. Junior year represents resumes, internships, job applications, preparing for tests for higher education, and all the stress that accompanies that. As a junior, we are only two years away from the end.
Even if you are going on to higher education after getting your undergrad degree, it will be the end of an era. The end of the comfort of being in college and having time to make mistakes, figure out your life, and experience the world for the first time on your own. Once you graduate you are expected to be an adult. You are no longer being coddled by your parents or an academic institution; it is up to you to make sense of your life, and make things happen. Sure, not all of us are like me; many of my fellow students have their lives planned out and see the end of college as the beginning of their lives. I applaud their confidence, and I hope to develop it magically over the next year or two. Until then, I am stuck with my continual fear of change and planning my life out.
Regardless of my never ending fear for the future, I will not let it define me or the rest of my time in college. Even though I am basically half way done with college and the end is near, I will not live my life focusing on the future. The future, no matter how much we think about it and plan for it, is never what we expect. Sure, I could plan my whole future right now, instead of studying for my final, but it probably won’t work out the exact way I want or expect. So I am going into junior year, ready to work hard, learn, and have new experiences and pray that all this leads me towards a path or passion that helps me figure out my life.
The fear of the future will always be with me, so I either have to go forth and conquer junior year, despite my fears, or let them consume me in a way that ruins my next two years. Here’s hoping that conquering my fears and junior year works out for me.