Dear High School Sport,

As our season rolls around, I am beginning to have separation anxiety from you. Little did I know, I do actually miss you. Last year when people asked if I wanted to play in college, I said no, because I thought that four years with you was simply enough. I was wrong.

I miss try outs. I miss being a scared freshman trying out and not knowing whether or not I would make the team, and I miss being a senior on the team, wondering which freshman I would be closest with.

I miss my jersey number. There will always be a piece of me that is tied to the number that I wore on my back for the past four years. When I go back this year to watch games, I will be highly criticizing the person who now wears that number. I am emotionally tied to it and need for it to be respected and played with a full heart.

I miss practice. I miss the routine of packing my clothes in a hurry in the morning, shoving them in the locker room before school, changing, and rushing to get to the field so that coach wouldn't be mad. I miss the warm up routine that we did each day before starting. I miss those repetitive stations, that at the time seemed to be so insignificant to what I thought we needed to do in practice.

With missing practice, I also miss coming home from practice. I miss being exhausted from a day of school and practice, and having a nice dinner, showering, and doing my homework, and repeating. I miss the rhythm of the season that came with having you in it.

I miss games. I miss the bus rides there jamming out with my best friends. I miss braiding hair and trying to sneakily change on the bus so the driver couldn't see us. I miss spirit days and dressing up for school, because it was game day, and we needed someway to prepare us. I miss the warm up routine, and holding hands with 16 of my best friends and coaches, as we listen to the National Anthem.

I miss being known as a student athlete. With choosing to not play a sport in college also comes with no one knowing that I once made you my life. I still want to be known as a student athlete, and everyone knowing just what team I am on.

I miss my team, my coaches, and I miss the little sliver of childhood that comes with thinking back to playing this sport. All of the early morning tournaments, times I said "sorry I can't, I have practice," all the moments of ache and soreness after lift days, and even after all of the horrible practices, I wish I could have you back.

I'm sorry I didn't appreciate you enough in high school, and you are dearly dearly missed.

Love always,

Your retired high school athlete