I think this is how I finally let go.
"If I'm ever in Springfield again, I'll let you know and we can grab a beer."
No, no we can not. We will not be like we once were.
I will not be the girl you text when you're feeling lonely or out of sorts. I will not be the girl you open yourself up to and let her open up to you, just to let you disappear. I will never be her again. I was once weak and lonely. I found you at a time when I was very vulnerable. I let you into all of the soft spots in my life, my first mistake.
Those soft spots and secrets were something I held and still hold very dear. I let you into my life because I thought you were worthy of knowing as a friend, second mistake.
I will not be the one to chase you around and looking for forgiveness. I will not apologize for my fiercely protective friends. They have a right to speak their minds about what you did. On whatever social media platform they choose.
For a moment, we were still cordial in the end. That is something I will say thank you for. I will say thank you for the soft heart you did show me at times. I will never forget how you always wanted to be the one cuddling me on my couch and had me playing with your hair. Those times do not justify your actions or what you did to me.
Those times were glimpses into who you were and are, but you never showed me all of the boy you are. You just showed me childish games and actions amidst acts of kindness so you could sneak your way in whenever you wanted.
If we ever meet again, I will not acknowledge you like I once did. I will be cordial and to the point but then I will be on my way.
I've let my heart heal after four months went to waste on a boy. I let my heart heal after the way you belittled me and spoke to me when my friends came to my defense. Boy, let me tell you one thing: I am a hell of a lot stronger too.
I have found my future and let me tell you, it is very bright. However, it will not include you in it regardless of where I go.