Dear future daughter,

I hope this finds you well. I hope that when you’re reading this, you’re doing so in a world better than the one I am writing this in.

I may be only 20-years-old now, but there are a few things I’ve learned at this point in my life that I want you to know:

You are so much more than just a pretty face, and you are never defined by the things that you are not. Never forget that. You are so much more than the size of your clothes, your number on the scale or the color of your hair. You are the places you’ve called home, the tears you’ve cried, the words you speak and the future you dream of. You are multi-dimensional, and it’s beautiful.

Never excuse harm for love. Look at your relationships with an objective eye and be honest with yourself. Hold yourself to high standards, and if he can’t meet them, someone else will—I can promise you that.

Whenever you feel lonely, search for yourself. Cultivating a relationship with yourself is just as important as creating relationships with others, and what you think of yourself is much more important than what people think of you. Know your worth.

Don’t be afraid of change—it might just end up being the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Switch up your routine. Pick up a new hobby. Change your major a couple of times. Step out of your comfort zone. Change brings new opportunities into your life, and if you don’t change, nothing will.

Strength and intelligence are sexy, and they never have to be sacrificed for femininity. Ever. Don’t limit yourself or dumb yourself down for someone else’s approval. Be the girl who decided to go for it—you won’t regret it.

It’s ok to say no. I say this because I hope that by the time you’re reading this rape culture has changed. I hope that by now, you won’t be scared to walk alone at night or wear what you want. I hope that by now, you won’t feel scared to stand up for yourself or others. Give yourself permission to say no without feeling guilty, mean or selfish. Your body belongs to you, not someone else. Don’t ever forget that.

Don’t keep things or people in your life that aren’t making you happy. Only pursue the things in life that make you the happiest, and always trust your gut. Learn about things that excite you. Make room in your life for the activities that make your heart full, no matter how irrelevant they may seem. Hold onto the people who make you feel like a million bucks.

It’s important to fail, so don’t let failure discourage you. Without failure, you won’t find success; failure is a time to learn and grow from your mistakes. Keep your chin up, shake it off and keep going.

Lastly, I want you to know that you can be anything you want to be. Don’t ever let someone tell you that you can’t, and always be persistent with your goals. YOU are entirely up to you, and I’ll be here supporting you every step of the way, beautiful girl.