We need to talk. There’s been something on my mind for awhile, and I think I’ve finally built up the courage to tell you how I feel. We’ve been together for quite some time now, and we’ve made some memories no doubt. I will never forget that time I drank two Monster energy drinks and stayed up all night just to spend time with your scantron self at 8 a.m. I’ve had you so many times, but frankly, it’s grown old.
I wish I could sugarcoat this and tell you something just to make you happy, but I have to be honest. It’s not me, it’s you. No, I never cheated on you. I’m not looking for an automatic expulsion. I just finally realized that you’ve never treated me right. Because of you, I can never sleep at night. You place way more stress than happiness in my life. Hell, you’ve driven me to drink…coffee, and basically hand over my life savings to Starbucks.
You always bring me down…literally. My GPA would be so great if it wasn’t for you. I’m sick of your constant questioning. How do you expect me to know the answers to your hundreds of questions? It’s always been all about you. Do you even care how I feel?
In the words of T-Swizzle, we are never ever ever getting back together. Like ever. I’ve moved on to someone much better. In case you’re curious, their name is winter break. I’ve never been happier. We spend our days watching Netflix, sleeping in until noon and drinking hot chocolate by the fireplace. You never let me do anything fun. Winter break brings me presents, cheer and more happiness than you ever could, finals.
I should have listened to my friends when they warned me that nothing good could ever come from you. Besides, I never really saw a future with you anyway. I’ll quickly forget about you like all the other tests that I’ve taken.