First of all I want to know how you've done it all these years, how did you just walk away and never look back? How did you walk away from the one person you are required to love? How did you walk away from your daughter knowing that someday she would need you? How did you act like I didn't exist when you saw me at the county fair? Lucky for you I didn't really know what you looked like, hell I still don't. And I'm not sure I want to.

18 years, 11 months and counting and you never made one phone call, wrote a letter that was genuine or even tried to be a part of my life. Why? Why was I not more important than drugs, or partying or whatever it was you did when you were out of jail? Why was I not a good enough reason to get clean and straighten your life out? Why wasn't I enough? Why couldn't you love me? Why did you have to break my heart before any boy had the chance to?

You've missed out on watching me grow into the amazing person I am today. I am the strong-willed, bullheaded, overly caring individual with no help from you. I wonder sometimes how different my life would have been had you actually cared about me. Would I have been a Daddy's girl? I wonder if you would've been a good dad.

I wonder why you never tried harder. I wonder what it would have been like to have you be proud of me. I wonder if you would have walked me across the field for my senior night, if you would have cried when you saw me all dressed up for my senior prom. I wonder if you would have been one of the dads whistling when I walked across the stage to get my diploma.

But I'll never know any of this because you walked away.

I have become an amazing, caring and intelligent individual without you. I have slowly learned I don't need you. I have a huge family who loves me and supports me in everything I do. I have an amazing boyfriend who promises to marry me someday. And while it hurts a little to know my "father" won't be walking down the aisle, I know I will get through it. Just like I have gotten through everything else without you.

You missed watching your daughter growing up. You missed my whole life because you couldn't get your life together for me. You missed watching me grow into an amazing soccer player and dancer. You missed my graduation because you were in jail. Again. I invited you only to find out an hour later you were behind bars again and wouldn't get my message. You missed my high school dances. You missed my first heartbreak. You missed my first day of school and my last day. Don't you dare think for a minute that you have the right to be proud of me and all I have accomplished. You lost that right when you walked away from me all those years ago.

I am not your daughter. I am by DNA but DNA doesn't make a father, love does. You didn't love me enough to be my father.