Dear Anxiety, I Want You To Know How You've Made Me Feel My Entire Life

Dear Anxiety, I Want You To Know How You've Made Me Feel My Entire Life

Yes, I'm talking to you.
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Dear Anxiety,

I've always been told that it's inappropriate to show up at a gathering to which you were not invited, but I guess you don't have a problem with that. You waltzed into my life without even asking my permission and became an unbearable weight upon my shoulders.

You make the simplest things in the world some of the most difficult tasks.

Hanging out with friends? Oh, they probably all secretly dislike me anyways. Choosing what to eat for dinner? I want the chicken, but the OCD is saying that if I don't have the beef, then my family will die. Going in to take a test that I have prepared days for? Totally reasonable to have a panic attack in the bathroom beforehand.

Some of my what should be my fondest memories are tarnished by your ill will and persistent presence.

You take beautiful moments and wreck them with unappreciated moments from the past and questionable thoughts of the future. No matter how much you make me mull over the past and worry about the present, it will not change a thing. All it makes me do is feel overwhelmed. It is a waste of time and a waste of energy and, while I see that it is those things, I still cannot stop. You are too powerful.

In my biology classes, we have been learning about parasites.

They drain the energy from their host ceases to exist. You, anxiety, are my parasite. You drain me of life, energy, and happiness. You leave me a mere hollow shell of myself. And, just like a lot of parasites, I am the only one who knows you are there. From the outside looking in, no one else can tell that you're in me, torturing me with everything that you do.

While it sucks that you ruin my life, that's not even the worst part about having you around.

You really want to know the worst part? You make me hurt the people whom I love the most. You make me into someone who is weak, negative, and panicky. You make me say things that ordinarily I would never say. You make me bother them with the constant questions of reassurance.

I hate the feeling of suffocating.

Feeling like I have no escape from my brain is the worst turmoil you could bestow upon me. Having my heart speed up for no reason at all is dreadful. Not wanting to make a single decision because of OCD's repercussions being a living hell.

You've done a pretty good job at making me feel worthless, I'll give you that.

But, you know what? Through it all, I have never given up. I'm still here; I'm still fighting. I don't want you to go away, no. I want you to diminish into the tiniest little voice in my brain and to realize that you no longer have power over me and that you never will again. I want you to know how you've made me feel my entire life.

Best wishes,

Anxious gal

Cover Image Credit: Pexels.com

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An Open Letter To The Girl Trying To Get Healthy Again

"I see you eating whatever you want and not exercising" - Pants
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Dear girl trying to get back in shape,

I know it's hard. I know the hardest thing you may do all day is walk into the gym. I know how easy it is to want to give up and go eat Chicken McNuggets, but don't do it. I know it feels like you work so hard and get no where. I know how frustrating it is to see that person across the table from you eat a Big Mac every day while you eat your carrots and still be half of your size. I know that awful feeling where you don't want to go to the gym because you know how out of shape you are. Trust me, I know.

SEE ALSO: To The Girl Trying To Lose Weight In College


The important thing is you are doing something about it. I'm sure you get mad at yourself for letting your body get this out of shape, but life happens. You have made a huge accomplishment by not having a soda in over a month, and those small changes are huge. I understand how hard it is, I understand how frustrating it is to not see results and I understand why you want to give up. Being healthy and fit takes so much time. As much as I wish you could wake up the day after a good workout with the 6 pack of your dreams, that just isn't the reality. If being healthy was easy, everyone would do it, and it wouldn't feel so good when you got there.

Remember how last January your resolution was to get back in the gym and get healthy again? Think about how incredible you would look right now if you would have stuck with it. The great thing is that you can start any time, and you can prove yourself wrong.

Tired of starting over? Then don't give up.

You are only as strong as your mind. You will get there one day. Just be patient and keep working.

Nothing worth having comes easy. If you want abs more than anything, and one day you woke up with them, it wouldn't be nearly as satisfying as watching your body get stronger.

Mental toughness is half the battle. If you think you are strong, and believe you are strong, you will be strong. Soon, when you look back on the struggle and these hard days, you will be so thankful you didn't give up.

Don't forget that weight is just a number. What is really important is how you feel, and that you like how you look. But girl, shout out to you for working on loving your body, because that shit is hard.

To the girl trying to get healthy again, I am so proud of you. It won't be easy, it will take time. But keep working out, eating right, and just be patient. You will be amazed with what your body is capable of doing.

Cover Image Credit: Stock Snap

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Yes, Sometimes My Anxiety Makes Me Want To Stay In Bed But No, It's Not Because I'm Lazy

Luckily, my anxiety has been something that I haven't been struggling with in a long time, but this semester, things changed.

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Anxiety. Something which is surprisingly still seen as a taboo topic to this day, but also something so many people around the world struggle with. I am one of those thousands of people struggling with it and while it is never easy, mixing it in with a full class load is not the best mix.

Luckily, my anxiety has been something that I haven't been struggling with in a long time, but this semester, things changed. Anxiety isn't something that is always easy to find the root cause of or what triggers that horrible anxiety attack. But I soon realized that maybe school and this semester is where the root cause is.

College is a big change in your life, whether you are a Freshman going into your first semester, or like me, a Junior who has been through a couple of semesters already. And with this comes a lot of emotions, both good and bad. And sometimes, those bad are unbearable.

It is hard to describe what anxiety is to someone that has never experienced it before. It is a feeling that you really don't understand unless you feel it. But the best way I can describe it is if there is something you are stressing out about but it suddenly becomes the only thing that you can think about. Sometimes you can't really tell what it is that you are stressed and anxious about, you just have a knot in your stomach and feel uneasy.

Along with anxiety sometimes comes the anxiety attacks which honestly feel like you are in hell. The hyperventilating, the sweaty hands, the out-of-body feeling. The worst holy trinity known to man. No, we are not faking it or making this up when we say we are having an anxiety attack. The panic is real and sometimes it happens so fast we can't stop it.

Now add in all of this stress and anxiety with a full load of classes, homework, any clubs or activities you are in...college is a busy time and it can be hard to find a few minutes to de-stress and take care of yourself. There are so many other responsibilities in your life now and it's not easy to balance out getting your work done and going to whatever obligations you need to be at while also making sure you are eating and sleeping and relaxed enough.

This really takes a toll on your mental health. I for one can tell you for a fact that it can get so hard to balance your mental health and school work. While it seems like a no-brainer to put mental health over classes and homework, it isn't always that simple. You need to make sure you are going to classes and doing your work on time. Of course, you can talk to your professors but they can only do so much.

With everything being said, I am here to say that yes, you can get through this. Surround yourself with positivity and when you have downtime, make sure you use it to take care of yourself. Take each task one step at a time, and don't stress about the future as much but focus on the here and now. I know, a lot of this is all easier said than done, but I know you can do it.

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