Dealing With Things You Can't Control

Dealing With Things You Can't Control

It may be hard to handle, but we have to have hope that it will get better and it is all for a reason.

We've all had a situation in our lives that we wish we could control or change, but we know it's out of our hands. Maybe it was a breakup that you didn't want to happen, a health problem, the loss of someone close to you, etc. Circumstances that you can't change. Obstacles thrown your way that are gonna happen no matter what you do. It's hard no doubt, but unfortunately it's a part of life.

Whatever you believe in, we have to have hope that things will get better, or what would be the point in pushing through the hardships every day? For some of you, that may be that everything happens for a reason. Whatever you're going through now is going to lead to something better. For me, my hope is in the fact that I believe God has a plan. I believe He puts these hardships in my life for a greater purpose. Everything I go through is to make me stronger, change the direction I'm taking in life for the better, or lead me to my purpose here on Earth.

It is nice to have hope. It gives us a reason to get out of bed, a reason to continue working hard and caring, a reason to keep going. But sometimes life can seem hopeless. I mean, have you ever felt like the old saying "when it rains it pours" was very true and all about your life? Have you ever felt like suddenly everything that could go wrong was going wrong? Or that you don't deserve what you're having to go through? When you feel like this, it's hard to find hope. It becomes easy to just give up, to wallow in your self pity, and to believe that you have it worse than anyone.

It is especially hard to deal with when you can't do anything to change it. The cancer that has no cure, the family member taken too soon, the sickness that debilitates you and won't heal, the person that doesn't love you.


We have to remember two things:

1. There is most likely someone out there that has it way worse than you. As much as your life seems to suck right now, there is most likely someone who has it worse. We have to be grateful for the blessings we do have that others don't.

2. There is a reason for all of this. Whether that boyfriend who broke up with you needed to be out of your life even though it hurts, or you didn't get that job because a better one is coming, there is a reason. Even if that reason is that all of what you're going through is going to make you so much stronger.

I know it's hard. It would be so much easier to think about how bad you have it and be miserable, but we can't. To get through this life, I have to believe that God has a purpose for all the bad. It is so much easier to get through things knowing He is holding my hand through it all, leading me to the much greater plans He specifically drew out for me.

So whatever you're going through, keep your head up. Find your hope in God, or at least find your hope in the fact that this is all happening for a reason. That is a purpose for all the chaos. You will make it through.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr Creative Commons: Yaniv Izhaki

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Sorry Not Sorry, My Parents Paid For My Coachella Trip

No haters are going to bring me down.

With Coachella officially over, lives can go back to normal and we can all relive Beyonce’s performance online for years to come. Or, if you were like me and actually there, you can replay the experience in your mind for the rest of your life, holding dear to the memories of an epic weekend and a cultural experience like no other on the planet.

And I want to be clear about the Beyonce show: it really was that good.

But with any big event beloved by many, there will always be the haters on the other side. The #nochella’s, the haters of all things ‘Chella fashion. And let me just say this, the flower headbands aren’t cultural appropriation, they’re simply items of clothing used to express the stylistic tendency of a fashion-forward event.

Because yes, the music, and sure, the art, but so much of what Coachella is, really, is about the fashion and what you and your friends are wearing. It's supposed to be fun, not political! Anyway, back to the main point of this.

One of the biggest things people love to hate on about Coachella is the fact that many of the attendees have their tickets bought for them by their parents.

Sorry? It’s not my fault that my parents have enough money to buy their daughter and her friends the gift of going to one of the most amazing melting pots of all things weird and beautiful. It’s not my fault about your life, and it’s none of your business about mine.

All my life, I’ve dealt with people commenting on me, mostly liking, but there are always a few that seem upset about the way I live my life.

One time, I was riding my dolphin out in Turks and Cacaos, (“riding” is the act of holding onto their fin as they swim and you sort of glide next to them. It’s a beautiful, transformative experience between human and animal and I really think, when I looked in my dolphin’s eye, that we made a connection that will last forever) and someone I knew threw shade my way for getting to do it.

Don’t make me be the bad guy.

I felt shame for years after my 16th birthday, where my parents got me an Escalade. People at school made fun of me (especially after I drove into a ditch...oops!) and said I didn’t deserve the things I got in life.

I can think of a lot of people who probably don't deserve the things in life that they get, but you don't hear me hating on them (that's why we vote, people). Well, I’m sick of being made to feel guilty about the luxuries I’m given, because they’ve made me who I am, and I love me.

I’m a good person.

I’m not going to let the Coachella haters bring me down anymore. Did my parents buy my ticket and VIP housing? Yes. Am I sorry about that? Absolutely not.

Sorry, not sorry!

Cover Image Credit: Kaycie Allen

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A Thank You To The Boy Who Stayed During My Depression

You held my hand when everything around me was crumbling.

Hey you,

Thanks for staying by my side when I didn’t want to stay myself. You have shown me such a huge amount of love, respect, and inspiration. Never in a million years would I have thought that I would be going through such a hard time with someone who is as steady as a rock. Thank you for saying that you love me, because it brings me peace throughout the day.

You have taught me to persevere and keep going. You are one of the only reasons I wake up in the morning and try to go on with my day. You have taught me to love myself despite my flaws. You never give up on me even when I give up on myself. You don't know how much it means to me to know that I have your continual support. You stayed when others have walked away. Not too many people know about depression and the effects it has. You're one of a few, and you choose to stay through it all. You are the light in the darkness. You constantly remind me that you’re here to stay and you’re not going to leave despite the struggle.

Thank you for reminding me that my depression does not define me, that I am more than this. I know its tough to stand tall when the person you care about is crumbling, but you do it without fear.

I’ll never be able to thank you for what you have done and continue to do for me. It takes someone unbelievably strong to hold someone’s hand and guide them through something this tough.

Thank you for being that unbelievably strong person.

I love you.

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