Dealing With Things You Can't Control

Dealing With Things You Can't Control

It may be hard to handle, but we have to have hope that it will get better and it is all for a reason.

We've all had a situation in our lives that we wish we could control or change, but we know it's out of our hands. Maybe it was a breakup that you didn't want to happen, a health problem, the loss of someone close to you, etc. Circumstances that you can't change. Obstacles thrown your way that are gonna happen no matter what you do. It's hard no doubt, but unfortunately it's a part of life.

Whatever you believe in, we have to have hope that things will get better, or what would be the point in pushing through the hardships every day? For some of you, that may be that everything happens for a reason. Whatever you're going through now is going to lead to something better. For me, my hope is in the fact that I believe God has a plan. I believe He puts these hardships in my life for a greater purpose. Everything I go through is to make me stronger, change the direction I'm taking in life for the better, or lead me to my purpose here on Earth.

It is nice to have hope. It gives us a reason to get out of bed, a reason to continue working hard and caring, a reason to keep going. But sometimes life can seem hopeless. I mean, have you ever felt like the old saying "when it rains it pours" was very true and all about your life? Have you ever felt like suddenly everything that could go wrong was going wrong? Or that you don't deserve what you're having to go through? When you feel like this, it's hard to find hope. It becomes easy to just give up, to wallow in your self pity, and to believe that you have it worse than anyone.

It is especially hard to deal with when you can't do anything to change it. The cancer that has no cure, the family member taken too soon, the sickness that debilitates you and won't heal, the person that doesn't love you.

BUT

We have to remember two things:

1. There is most likely someone out there that has it way worse than you. As much as your life seems to suck right now, there is most likely someone who has it worse. We have to be grateful for the blessings we do have that others don't.

2. There is a reason for all of this. Whether that boyfriend who broke up with you needed to be out of your life even though it hurts, or you didn't get that job because a better one is coming, there is a reason. Even if that reason is that all of what you're going through is going to make you so much stronger.

I know it's hard. It would be so much easier to think about how bad you have it and be miserable, but we can't. To get through this life, I have to believe that God has a purpose for all the bad. It is so much easier to get through things knowing He is holding my hand through it all, leading me to the much greater plans He specifically drew out for me.

So whatever you're going through, keep your head up. Find your hope in God, or at least find your hope in the fact that this is all happening for a reason. That is a purpose for all the chaos. You will make it through.

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Infectious Compassion

Give a Stranger Hope!

    

I am definitely no newbie to this; doctors, hospitals, medications, therapies, insurance, paperwork, and the waiting. The dreaded waiting. Often the cure is worse than the disease, but the wait amplifies the symptoms of said disease. 

Like I said, I am no newbie, but I also am not an expertise. If I were an expertise I wouldn’t need the doctors, and all of that goes with being ill. But one might come to believe that after 26 years, one would at least develop a thicker skin. I try to imagine how a great spiritual leader might advise me when I fall through a crack in our system. I ask myself what lesson can be learned, for my future, and the avoidance of other cracks. I even try to learn from others who have fallen, and pass forward any pertinent knowledge I have accumulated. 

Knowledge is power, unless you’re sick. Money is power, unless you’re sick. Knowledge and money give the sick more options, but sick is still sick. Dying is still dying. Death is still death. 

With all of my knowledge, all of my wants, all of my needs, and all of my wishes, only one thing has been a constant in dealing, coping, and even healing. It is actually very basic, but often the most elusive. A placebo of sorts, amazingly it is still in short supply, but high demand. 

One cannot bottle it, market it, sell it, or cure the sick with it. But it is the most contagious agent I have ever been exposed to. A touch, a smile, a hopeful gesture or word, and I am instantly infected. Once I am infected my only desire is to infect all around me. 

So here is the big secret, the elusive placebo, the virus I covet more than any cure some specialist, drug rep, hospital, or guru peddles: Compassion. 

Devastating news is just that much easier to take in when compassion is bound to it. I accepted a long time back that I would either die from my diagnoses, or with them. No cure in sight, just a hindered life. Even though I don’t like my illnesses, I’m okay with this, I am okay with me, who I am, who I turned out to be. 

We humans don’t have to like disease, or even accept it, in us or others. But could we at least show a little compassion? For a few seconds? A fake smile? Something? 

The next time you are having a wonderful day, think back to a day that was the exact opposite. Now, the stranger next to you? That just might describe their day. Would you have liked a miniscule amount of compassion on the day you remember? Might a slight exposure of infectious happiness have helped you? 

Commit a random act of kindness and infect a stranger with some compassion! Pass it on! 

   ?

  

I am definitely no newbie to this; doctors, hospitals, medications, therapies, insurance, paperwork, and the waiting. The dreaded waiting. Often the cure is worse than the disease, but the wait amplifies the symptoms of said disease. 

Like I said, I am no newbie, but I also am not an expertise. If I were an expertise I wouldn’t need the doctors, and all of that goes with being ill. But one might come to believe that after 26 years, one would at least develop a thicker skin. I try to imagine how a great spiritual leader might advise me when I fall through a crack in our system. I ask myself what lesson can be learned, for my future, and the avoidance of other cracks. I even try to learn from others who have fallen, and pass forward any pertinent knowledge I have accumulated. 

Knowledge is power, unless you’re sick. Money is power, unless you’re sick. Knowledge and money give the sick more options, but sick is still sick. Dying is still dying. Death is still death. 

With all of my knowledge, all of my wants, all of my needs, and all of my wishes, only one thing has been a constant in dealing, coping, and even healing. It is actually very basic, but often the most elusive. A placebo of sorts, amazingly it is still in short supply, but high demand. 

One cannot bottle it, market it, sell it, or cure the sick with it. But it is the most contagious agent I have ever been exposed to. A touch, a smile, a hopeful gesture or word, and I am instantly infected. Once I am infected my only desire is to infect all around me. 

So here is the big secret, the elusive placebo, the virus I covet more than any cure some specialist, drug rep, hospital, or guru peddles: Compassion. 

Devastating news is just that much easier to take in when compassion is bound to it. I accepted a long time back that I would either die from my diagnoses, or with them. No cure in sight, just a hindered life. Even though I don’t like my illnesses, I’m okay with this, I am okay with me, who I am, who I turned out to be. 

We humans don’t have to like disease, or even accept it, in us or others. But could we at least show a little compassion? For a few seconds? A fake smile? Something? 

The next time you are having a wonderful day, think back to a day that was the exact opposite. Now, the stranger next to you? That just might describe their day. Would you have liked a miniscule amount of compassion on the day you remember? Might a slight exposure of infectious happiness have helped you? 

Commit a random act of kindness and infect a stranger with some compassion! Pass it on! 

   ?

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With The New Year Already Gone, How Can We Improve Ourselves?

Its Never Too Late To Make A Commitment To Making Yourself Better

As January begins, people always talk about how their news years resolution never work out. Most of the time, they are right. But finding a good balanced resolution can be key. The resolution shouldn't be impossible but it also should be able to challenge you and prove to yourself that anything is possible. Here are 3 resolutions that I think all of us should begin a February as a way to make ourselves the best people.

1. Being kind to those around us

This one can be quite tough. Sometimes we just have those moments where nothing is seeming to go right and there is only a few people to blame. Overcome those emotions of anger or hatred and instead focus on improving yourself. If you got yourself into the situation, you are more that likely to get yourself out of it. This will not only improve your image to that person who you know, but also to others who may be trying to get to know you better.

2. Don't be Lazy

Not gonna lie, this is one of the hardest resolutions for people to follow. A long hard day at work or at school can often be the breaking point for people and might force them to stop doing what is necessary. For students, it might be putting in the extra work or in my case, going downstairs to get something. Being lazy is a problem for all of us and I think the best way to fix it is to start thinking of ways to keep this resolution.

3. Keep a Positive attitude

When times are good, a positive attitude is easy to keep. But as obstacles cloud our path, our negativity grows more and eventually can't be stopped. Being one of the biggest pessimist I know, keeping a happy attitude can change more than just in our own personal lives. A smile or a laugh is all it takes to brighten up someones day. Remember if you are going through a hard time, someone else also is. Showing them a sign of faith and belief in them can give them the final push to overcome their conflict.

These three resolutions are meant to help us make 2018 a year full of laughs, memories, and improve on 2017. Each of these commitments to improving ourselves will also affect others around us. Good luck keeping these resolutions.

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

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