These past few months at college, I have come to have forgotten how sensitive my heart is. I care too much and sometimes don’t receive the same in return, it’s sad. For a while, I don’t really care, I feel like I have someone. It’s not until I’m left completely heartbroken that I realize that I just feel every single emotion and feel all the pain that comes with it.
Heartbreak messes with my head in a way that makes left look right and right look left. In that moment I don’t care, I want everything to be the way it was instead of embarking on the long process of moving on. That seems shorter than letting that person go. In this moment I think illogically like a romantic comedy. I can’t let go of all the pictures and the screenshots of text messages. Bridget Jones has given me no advice to deal with something like this.
Everything reminds me of that person, and in that moment I want to stay there so I can live in happy memories for a while. It’s a lullaby that puts me to sleep at the end of the night, I can live there for a few hours before you wake up the next day.
After everyone that comes and goes, I tell myself that I will protect my heart more, be careful the next time. When that person comes around, it never seems to work out like that. I open up, I let them in and they seem to wreck it all before leaving again.
Heartbreak is one of my least favorite things out of life. Not just from romance, but from being let down and pushed around by people as well. It’s from realizing that some people are selfish.
I wish I could say I’ll be careful next time, but really I don’t want to lie.