There are some days that my alarm goes off, and I just stare at the ceiling. I don't want to get up and do life. My anxiety has grown progressively worse over the past couple of years. Although most people would look at me as a happy and friendly being, I'm falling apart on the inside, and I don't really know why. I have a wonderful family, a great job, an excellent education, a loving and caring boyfriend. Why am so sad and scared everyday when I wake up?

The recent events that have happened in the world have not helped my anxiety. I hate being so scared and paranoid when I am in places with a lot of people or anywhere. Some days I don't even want to get in my car and drive because I am afraid I will get into an accident. I have anxiety about the most trivial things. I am so cautious in the shower because I don't want to slip and hit my head and die. Yeah my mind makes up scenarios that are ridiculous sometimes. But, what if? I am always asking myself that question.

Recently, I sat down and really thought about it. I am responsible for the way I feel and the way my brain works. I am constantly in my head telling myself what could happen if I did this or that. I am the one who freaks myself out to the point where I can't breathe anymore, or feel like I can't breathe. One of my problems is that I hate not having control over what happens to me. That's why I can't do drugs, not that I have a dire need or want to do drugs.

What is so hard and scary to come to terms with is that I have absolutely no control over what happens to me. I could die tomorrow for all I know. Whatever is in God's plans for me, is in His plans. It's terrifying, but it has taught me to value this life so much more than I did. I appreciate the simple beauty of this life and realize that it is too short to take for granted. Realizing that I am just one little tiny star in a gigantic galaxy was what helped me the most. I can't focus and panic on the "what ifs."

Yes, I will still have bad days. However, I will always find comfort in knowing that God has a plan for me. Sometimes you just have to step back, and look at things from a bigger perspective. If you think that this is something that can help you, please do it. I promise that the more you let go and let God, the better your mindset will be.