You wake up to the sound of drilling in your ear. Why is there a drilling noise at this hour? It must be 8…oh noon. It’s your roommate, of course, she’s making a smoothie, probably after having worked out, gone to class and successfully made you look like a waste of space. She’s the motivated one as far as you can tell. She was also the smart one and went to bed at a reasonable hour and got the paper we both have due at 3 p.m. today finished, so she wins this round.

Back to what’s important: it is lunch time and you are in desperate need to eat your worries away.

You take your time (or sprint) to your sorority house’s kitchen, praying the entire walk down the hall and through the living room that for the love of everything, it’s not “soup or salad” day. You walk into the kitchen and there is the usual array of people, but more boys than usual which typically means the food is some delicious type of comfort food everyone craves (I guess you did enough good deeds this week).

You see Becky with the big hair at the corner table eating a leafy salad, obviously trying to impress the boy that is sitting across from her (and maybe recover from her late night Mexican binge in the early hours of the morning). Best of luck to that boy who will most likely be her formal date in a few weeks.

Moving on, there’s the table of freshman that have food piled high on their plates, having no clue that all these “cheat” days are slowly leading to the freshman 15.

Rest in peace to our youthful high school figures.

To the left, you have the girls that took the pre-med route and have regretted it ever since. Their table is scattered with books, papers and granola bars, the only thing they can stomach before a test.

You see your roommate again, still in her workout clothes, sipping on her smoothie while telling some of your friends about her new diet. You guys make eye contact and your best friend telepathy kicks in and you know full well to grab a few…hundred extra slices of pizza for you all to dig into later.

Scanning the room, you have the shameless eaters that gorge on five pieces of pizza and just don’t care, the actual healthy eaters that you caught eating late night carrots (why?) and then girls like you, that put a small salad on your plate every day, with no intention of eating it. Maybe the veggie nutrients absorb into the multiple slices of pizza covered in ranch on your plate?

Or wait, ranch goes on salads, making it healthy right?

In the end, all of us Srat stars go to bed every night with the best intentions. Telling ourselves, that tomorrow will be different. We will wake up, avoid the scones and pancakes and make ourselves a nice cup of yogurt…drenched in chocolate cereal and peanut butter.

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