"Hey, how are you guys doing today? Welcome to ____, my name's Dana and I'll be taking of care you tonight. Can I start you all off with something to drink?"
Grab the drinks, take the order, run the food, drop the bill. It's become like clockwork to me. While I begrudge and moan about it, at the end of the day I do love it. Why else would I want to smell like a god knows what food for a mere $2.13 an hour?
For many of you, you've never experienced what it's like to be a server. While we do take care of you, we're people too (and most of you respect that). But if you don't always realize that, just remember, I'm probably taking care of more tables than just you, I do not control how fast your food comes out and most of all, I'm human, I make mistakes, it happens. Being a server isn't always easy so next time you go out, take to time to think and notice how much your server really does for you.
8:45 a.m. (Wakes up.)
9:00 a.m. Oh look, there's a dried ketchup stain on my apron, let's hope my boss doesn't notice that.
9:15 a.m. I've got my apron, my book and my wine opener, I'm all set...wait where are my pens, I swear I just brought five new ones in the other day, Pen thieves I will find you, and trust me, it won't be pretty.
9:30 a.m. (Opens text from friends: "Hey, wanna go to a concert tonight?") Ugh, why did I decide to work a double on a Friday night? Oh that's right, I'm a broke college kid.
10:15 a.m. Rush out of the house in an attempt to beat the other opener to work. First one in means the better side-work.
10:30 a.m. Damn, he's already here. I'm telling you, this guy must live here or something.
10:35 a.m. Cut the lemons, stock the fridge, fold the pizza boxes. Repeat.
11:00 a.m. Make yourself a coffee and go sit down with the other server who's already been done with their side-work.
11:01 a.m. The obligatory, "Come visit me at work," followed by the, "I'm bored help," Snapchat.
11:10 a.m. Ugh, spoke to soon. Car pulls in, wait maybe they just want to see a menu?
11:12 a.m. Host grabs two menus and leads one woman to the booth.
11:13 a.m. Debate with the other server who takes the table, looks like it's me. (Surprise...not.)
11:14 a.m. Begrudgingly walks over to the table with a drink napkin. They know we don't serve breakfast here right?
11:16 a.m. Yup, they know. One water with lemon while she waits for her friend.
11:30 a.m. No sign of her friend.
11:33 a.m. Where in the world is her friend?
11:35 a.m. Another car pulls in, finally maybe it's her friend. Nope, it's a turnaround.
11:45 a.m. Finally, friend arrives. Another water with lemon. I swear for every time someone ordered that I'd have enough to pay for school.
11:55 a.m. "Are you ladies ready to order yet?" followed by, "We haven't even looked yet, sorry!" (Smiles and walks away.)
12:05 p.m. Finally take the order of two salads. Really breaking the bank here. But hey, $3 tip here I come.
12:15 p.m. Food comes out fast. OK, this is a good start to the day, I've got this under control.
12:25 p.m. Spoke too soon. Everyone and their grandmother arrives.
12:30 p.m. Triple sat. No sorry, we don't have Diet Coke Zero or Shirley Temples. OK three Cokes, two coffees and four waters, I think that's what they ordered.
12:35 p.m. Oh shoot, which one's the diet? Let's just hope I'm right.
12:40 p.m. "What comes in the panini?"
12:45 p.m. "So you want the panini, but no onions, no tomatoes, no chicken, but you want to add cucumbers and extra ranch?" So, basically, what you're telling me is you want to create your own item?
12:50 p.m. "Panini no onions, no chicken, add cucumbers and ranch." Send, done.
12:51 p.m. Wait, I forgot no tomatoes. (Runs to the kitchen to explain before they start making it.)
12:52 p.m. Where's the kitchen staff? I know it's Saturday morning and you probably went out like I did last night, but there's work to be done.
12:55 p.m. Finally found them. "Hi ___, ___, ___, yes I'm good. Yes, I'd love to see a cute video but..."
12:56 p.m. Phew, saved by the food. Grab the food and begin walking. Damn that's hot. OK, just smile through the pain. This really freaking hurts. Just keeping smiling, you're almost there. Finally, drop the food and run away like a scared little puppy.
1:03 p.m. "How's everything so far?" Ok another refill on water, napkins- no biggie
1:04 p.m. You could have said you needed extra dressing the last time I was there.
1:07 p.m. Sneaks piece of bread while tables aren't looking.
1:10 p.m. OK, now I need the soup and salads for this lunch special. "Three lunch sides please" to the kitchen staff. *crickets*
1:11 p.m. Tries again in Spanish..ah yes it worked OK, great.
1:15 p.m. Repeat.
1:20 p.m. "Can you break this hundred for me?" Your bill is $25 but you pay with a $100. OK, I see how this is.
1:21 p.m. Host struggles to have enough money in the bank to break it.
1:23 p.m. "So how much change do they need back?"
1:25 p.m. PM Drop the check; "Enjoy the rest of your day ladies" aka thanks for coming but nicely gtfo.
1:45 p.m. PM Repeat
2:15 p.m. PM Why is the first table still here?
2:35 p.m. PM Wait, where is my check from table 102? *rummages through trash*
2:37 p.m. PM A sauce stained hand later but finally finds it...$4
3:15 p.m. PM Finally lunch time; it's pasta again but hey, I'm hungry so it works
3:16 p.m. PM Were we that busy that we're all out of forks? Guess I'll be eating this pasta with a spoon
3:18 p.m. PM Unties apron, breaks out phone
3:19 p.m. PM Car pulls in... you've got to be kidding right?
3:23 p.m. PM Table walks in and tries to seat themselves at the dirty table
3:45 p.m. Phone's ringing. Wait, second ring I better run and get it...oh wait phew there's the hostess never mind.
4:05 p.m. Dinner staff arrives
4:15 p.m. Wipe down tables, fill salt and pepper shakers, sugars.
4:18 p.m. Dropped the salt shaker (again)...let's just brush that onto the floor and pretend that didn't happen.
4:30 p.m. Someone's mad about something again.
4:31 p.m. Don't look at me, I don't know anything.
5:20 p.m. Finally a table.
5:45 p.m. Why is the guy at table 103 smiling at me, what's wrong I'll check. Drinks full, food's great. OK, maybe I'm just great at my job.
6:00 p.m. Leaves number on receipt...nope just flirting.
6:15 p.m. "This glass is dirty"...do less, please.
6:30 p.m. How are we out salmon already?
6:35 p.m. Table tries ordering salmon after they've been told we're out of it; "yes, I'm sure...no I will not dou ble check."
6:55 p.m. Ten-top on top of my already full section; are they trying to kill me?
6:56 p.m. Yep, six kids in the party.
7:15 p.m. "Where is our food?" I placed your order 10 minutes ago, chill.
7:20 p.m. More bread for the party, where's the bus boy?
7:25 p.m. Food, finally! "Runners?" *crickets* Thought not.
7:30 p.m. "Can you help me sing happy birthday?" Where were you when I needed a runner before but OK.
7:45 p.m. "Three cappuccinos, light froth." This isn't Starbucks and I can barely work the machine so what you see is what you're gonna get.
8:00 p.m. No, I do not want to hear your life story, thank you very much.
8:15 p.m. Spilt drink, where in the world are the busy boys?
8:25 p.m. Gotta pee but I'm in the weeds ugh; just smile and pretend it's OK. OK, I'm standing here too long.
8:30 p.m. "Oh we know the manager" Oh really, yeah me too...I work for him.
8:43 p.m. "I asked for no onions in my pasta"..."uh, no you didn't"
8:45 p.m. Sent back food.
8:46 p.m. Just smile and nod as they tell you that's not how a chicken picatta should be made.
9:30 p.m. Last table leaves, cleanup begins.
9:40 p.m. Plot twist, in comes a car..don't you dare.
9:43 p.m. But they do.
10:30 p.m. Cash out and low-key cry because you know you'll be back again in about 10 hours.
12:00 a.m. *Wakes up in a panic* She really did ask for no onions in the pasta.