A Day In The Life Of Alphonse | The Odyssey Online
Start writing a post
Lifestyle

A Day In The Life Of Alphonse

I wrote an article about my girlfriend's cat.

11
A Day In The Life Of Alphonse
Maddy Ellis

A Foreword:

So I'm one week into doing Odyssey and I already feel like I'm out of ideas, yay. I spit-balled a number of article ideas this week, but none seemed like they would be very good. This ranged from a satirical article about why millennials suck, My Top Ten Selfies, and Why LAN Parties Are Awesome: From The Perspective of an African Refugee Who's Never Seen a Computer Before. At a certain point, my girlfriend (in a joking tone that became a serious one by the time she finished her sentence) suggested I do an article about her cat. I told her I don't think she wants to read the article I'll write about her cat, but she insisted.

To give a little context, she rescued Alphonse while she was working at a barn this summer. She was in the middle of her shift when she saw this little guy running around by the horses. Terrified he would be stepped on, she put him in a kennel and brought him home with her. After taking him to the vet, as well as confirming the cat was a stray, she adopted him and they now live happily in her apartment. Also, I realize that this whole foreword thing is really unnecessary, but it seems funny to have one before an article about a cat.

Dear Cat Diary,

Today wasn’t too bad, depending on when you would consider my day to have started (I don’t ever really go to bed, I just kinda sleep for increments of five minutes every now and then in between my efforts to murder Mom’s couch). But I did have a little bit of trouble getting my sleep because that Nick guy was in my spot in the bed again. It was okay though, to get back at him I did laps around the bed and attacked his face all night.

Anyways, eventually it was the morning and after the people were gone I proceeded to plot my next attack on the house’s furniture. As I was doing this I began to think: why? Why am I doing this? Why is it that my very soul is filled with the desire to kill? I suppose I’m a carnivore, so it kinda makes sense. Plus food is given to me every day on a silver platter, and I guess I need some sort of outlet to unleash the inner rage that burns within. Though still, when I think about it I feel pretty castrated (no pun intended). Whatever, I’ll just attack Nick twice as much from now on.

Later on, Mom came home and fed me again. It was delicious, even though my previous revelations were still in mind. Afterwards, we sat and watched that show with the sexy eyeliner-pirate man. After several minutes, I became more interested in hiding behind the chair and attacking the feather-string thing that Mom would tauntingly hold at a distance from me.

After she left, I pretty much just continued contemplating my every desire. I was really feeling down for a while until I realized it didn’t really matter so long as this life maintained my own personal happiness. I guess I’d call myself a utilitarian in that sense. Either way, I feel like I’ve come to terms with myself now, which is nice. It’s important to be content with yourself, and I guess if this diary entry had a message to it that would be it.


Today was a good day.



Photos by Nick Bushway and Maddy Ellis.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
ross geller
YouTube

As college students, we are all familiar with the horror show that is course registration week. Whether you are an incoming freshman or selecting classes for your last semester, I am certain that you can relate to how traumatic this can be.

1. When course schedules are released and you have a conflict between two required classes.

Bonus points if it is more than two.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

12 Things I Learned my Freshmen Year of College

When your capability of "adulting" is put to the test

2000
friends

Whether you're commuting or dorming, your first year of college is a huge adjustment. The transition from living with parents to being on my own was an experience I couldn't have even imagined- both a good and a bad thing. Here's a personal archive of a few of the things I learned after going away for the first time.

Keep Reading...Show less
Featured

Economic Benefits of Higher Wages

Nobody deserves to be living in poverty.

301349
Illistrated image of people crowded with banners to support a cause
StableDiffusion

Raising the minimum wage to a livable wage would not only benefit workers and their families, it would also have positive impacts on the economy and society. Studies have shown that by increasing the minimum wage, poverty and inequality can be reduced by enabling workers to meet their basic needs and reducing income disparities.

I come from a low-income family. A family, like many others in the United States, which has lived paycheck to paycheck. My family and other families in my community have been trying to make ends meet by living on the minimum wage. We are proof that it doesn't work.

Keep Reading...Show less
college
Pinterest

For many undergraduates across the nation, the home stretch has begun. Only one more semester remains in our undergraduate career. Oh, the places we will go! For the majority of college seniors, this is simultaneously the best and worst year out of the past four and here’s why.

1. The classes you are taking are actually difficult.

A schedule full of easy pottery throwing and film courses is merely a myth on the average campus. With all of those prerequisites for the upper-level courses and the never-ending battle you fight each year during registration for limited class seats, senior year brings with it the ability to register for the final courses you need to fulfill your major. Yet, these are not the easy entry level courses. These are the comprehensive, end of major, capstone courses designed to apply the knowledge from all your previous courses, usually in the form of an extensive research paper or engaged learning project. The upside is you actually probably really enjoy these classes but alas there is no room for slackers here.

Keep Reading...Show less
man in black crew neck t-shirt
Photo by Yogendra Singh on Unsplash

1. You're tired of school food and have resorted to surviving off junk food and cereal.

2. Your financial aid/money is running out...and chances are it all went to textbooks and takeout.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments