Ah, dating. We all know what it is. We all know the rush, excitement and fear of really, really liking someone. And each individual person has their own method of dating and their own way of going about it.

Some people go from person to person and are alright with that. Some people fear commitment and only want quick dates and no strings attached. Others don’t want to spend time on little flings and want to focus on their future, determined that the right person will come after college when they’re ready.

And any of those ways are right. I’m not saying that one way is better than the other, or that you have to date a certain way otherwise, it won’t work out. Each person is different, so date how it works for you.

What I am saying, though, and the point of this article, is dating with a purpose. Many people are aware of the Duggars and their courtships. Yes, it may be like that in some ways (but less extreme!) but personally, “courting” is the ugliest word to call it.

It sounds like you’re taking your relationship in front of a judge, to me. And dating with a purpose doesn’t have to be like that. It doesn’t need to get a bad rep like some people give it. It is simply dating with the intent to one day get married to the person.

Now, again, I am NOT saying that this means you have to get married NOW. It is just simply taking relationships a little more seriously and consciously. Sometimes, we are drawn to the first person who shows us attention, and we trick ourselves into thinking we like that person when we really don’t.

When you date with the intent of marriage, you are conscious about who you are choosing and what that means.

It means you choose the person, even when that feeling of a “spark” is gone. Love is not just a feeling, but a choice. It’s not always going to be pretty. They will annoy the crap out of you, push your buttons and sometimes break your heart a bit. But if they’re worth it to you, and you are working towards marriage, you choose to forgive and work through that.

Because even when there are bad days--there always are, in every part of life--there are also the days that send you to cloud nine. The days when your person makes you laugh until your sides hurt, smile like you’ve never smiled before and feel so immensely loved. Even when you don’t feel that happiness all the time, you still choose that person. Because it’s not always going to be pretty. It’s a lot of work.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for nearly 10 months with the intent of someday getting married. As a young couple, we’ve gotten a lot of grief and weird looks for it. But we didn’t enter the relationship unprepared or unknowing.

It took months and months of prayer and prayer and seeking God’s guidance. Plus, we’ve been best friends for seven years. I would not have entered this relationship if I didn’t feel like this was where God was leading me. I wouldn’t have agreed to be Lucas’ girlfriend if I didn’t hear God tell me that I was going to marry him one day.

And to be honest, yes, that’s scary. Yes, we are young, and that means we have quite a few years before we will be ready for that step in our relationship. But if we’re following God’s Will for our lives, then I’m not worried. We don’t have to talk about marriage now like it's going to happen tomorrow.

Trust me, we have our bad days, too. We’ve never had that “spark.” I don’t believe in it. He’s given me butterflies, made my heart beat faster and sent shivers down my spine. He’s swept me off my feet and makes me feel like the most amazing and beautiful girl that he’s ever met.

But we’ve also disagreed plenty of times. We’ve bumped heads and annoyed the crap out of each other. Even with those bad days, I choose him. I know what God has told me, and I pray daily that we would continue on His Will and not our own.

He’s one of the biggest blessings in life, even when he’s a pain in my side. Even when I feel lost, I trust in Jesus and I choose Lucas. I hope to one day marry him, but for now, I’m 17. I don’t have to worry about that.

I will focus on my friendship with him, leading him closer to Christ and pursuing after Christ’s Heart myself. The closer we both get to Jesus, the closer we will become to each other. I thank You, Jesus, for this relationship and for my best friend. Thank You that You brought him into my life all those years ago and that You’ve kept him such an important role in it.

To those of you just dating because you’re bored, I ask you to look at your relationships. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with what you’re doing, I’m just simply asking you to look.

Do you feel like you’re being encouraged and truly cared for?

Because I do in my relationship. I’m dating with a purpose, and it’s ruined my life in the best way possible. It’s brought me my greatest blessing and opened my eyes to new things. The world is not about myself, and I am not my first priority. Neither is he my first priority; Jesus is.

But God made the woman for the man, for them to one day get married. It says in Genesis 2:22-24,

“Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, ‘This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.’ That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.”

Dating with a purpose opened my eyes and has saved my heart. Yes, sometimes we fight, and it hurts my heart. However, it has saved me overall from all the heartbreak that everyone else my age feels.

I have a certain security. It has ruined my life but is making my life better. It’s woken me up from my old way of living to my new way of living.

“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

"For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

"Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church — for we are members of his body.

"For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

"This is a profound mystery — but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband." — Ephesians 5: 22-23