To whom it may concern,
I'm not perfect and I won't ever pretend to be.
I'll be the first to tell you that I've been through a lot. Some might even call me "damaged." I'm a child of divorce and a survivor of sexual abuse who struggles with fits of depression and anxiety.
Because of that, it's safe to say that I love and even like differently than most people.
When we face trauma we often will shut people out or build walls, but for me... it's not like that. My walls fell down. I became a person who feels everything.
My feelings and emotions are unrelenting. In other words, when I care about a person I do so more intensely than most of the people around me and that tends to happen fairly quick. Because of this, I have a hard time letting go of people even if they aren't exactly giving me what a girl like myself requires.
The requirements aren't vast and they aren't complex. They are basic needs when it comes to many relationships, but especially in my case.
All I truly need is a little attention, some physical interaction, and on occasion, a little reassurance.
In lamens terms, send me a cute text or call me just to say hello. Literally anything to let me know that you actually think of me throughout your busy day. Make plans to see me and when those plans happen, don't be afraid to hold my hand or kiss me. Every now and then remind me that I'm the only woman you are seeing or that our time together actually makes you happy.
While fulfilling these requirements is super easy, being with someone who even leaves one of these out is nearly impossible.
When I don't hear anything over the course of a day (no good mornings, goodnights, etc.) I immediately feel as though I've been forgotten or as if I am no longer considered important.
When there is no set in stone plan to see each other for weeks at a time, I feel as though I'm being played or like I've been broken up with but I never received the memo.
Without reassurance, I often question whether or not a relationship is real or genuine.
Every now and then, I'll allow a person who doesn't fulfill these requirements to slip through the cracks. This might be because I think there's hope or just because I'm emotionally invested. Perhaps I may even think they're "the one."
The truth is, I'm used to being disappointed and even seeing people leave. So, sure, sometimes it's not unnatural for me to hold on to something that is already gone just to try and avoid the pain that comes with goodbye.
So if this concerns you and you are reading this, please don't take advantage.
Just because you've slipped through the cracks, doesn't mean it's okay to continue to give me less than I need. It also doesn't mean that you should pretend like you'll try harder if you aren't willing to do so.
If you're going to break my heart, just do it. I will survive. I've been through much worse.
Sincerely,
A girl who needs a little more effort