Women, who here has been played by a boy? I bet almost every woman can raise their hand to this one. Very sad, but true. Being “played” by a boy is all about the games used during dating to manipulate and control the mind of their significant other. Now I’m not saying women don’t do this to boys, too, because they certainly do. However, I am just speaking to the women right now, from a girl just like you.

One of the first games a boy will play is the "texting" game. You will meet an amazing guy who wins you over on the first date and your mind starts going crazy as you wait to see what happens next. You go over in your mind about 100 times whether or not you should continue to wait for him to text you or should you go ahead and send him a text first because you’re just dying to talk to him! Then, when there is still no text, you call your best friend to say you’re going to wait until he texts you, but if he doesn’t by tomorrow night, then you will give in and contact him first. But guess what?!?! That was his plan all along! He wanted you to go crazy and crave him enough to give in and let him have the upper hand before the relationship even begins.

The “blame game” is another sneaky one that you may not even notice at first. Your boyfriend says he’s working late then going to his “boy’s” house to work on their trucks. He promised to go to dinner with you, though. When you tell him your feelings and how you are sad he chose to do that over spending time with you since you had plans prior, he turns it all on you. He makes you feel like you are being too needy or smothering. He complains that you don’t give him enough space to hang out with his “boys.” You sit at home bummed you didn’t get the fun night with him you expected while he doesn’t even answer any phone calls or texts. Suddenly, you realize his “boys” are more of a priority than you and he’ll say or do just about anything to be cool in front of them. When he finally gets home, he acts like nothing ever happened by sending cute paragraphs in texting that make you smile again and win you right back to where your feelings were before.

The next game he might play is a total control manipulation game that I like to call the "aggressive-jealousy" game. You’ve always trusted him. He never gave you a reason not to…until now. He starts putting his phone face down and turns the sound off. He won’t let you see it even just to look at the time when you don’t feel like searching through your whole purse to find your own. You start becoming suspicious. Then the next day you’re watching a movie and a notification pops up on your phone with a guy’s name on it. Your boyfriend freaks out and starts blaming you for not being loyal and makes you block them immediately. If he would have just asked he would have known that the guy simply asked what pages we were supposed to read for homework. While in reality, he reacted like that because secretly he’s texting a girl in an intimate way so he assumes you are doing the same. He insists on having a passcode to your phone but you can’t have his.

The most confusing game that boys tend to play is the “ghosting” game. You’re talking to this guy and things are going great! He takes you out, buys you flowers, hangs out with your friends and family, tells you you’re not like any other girl he’s been with before – that you’re “special.” Then, *BOOM*…he’s gone. You can’t get him to reply to any texts or calls. You blow up his phone for days until you finally have had enough. Then your mind is racing with thoughts of why you weren’t good enough or if he even really cared in the first place. Feelings can’t change overnight, right?

The backup game. Boys love to do this because they love to feel powerful and in control. The man you thought you would be with for a long time ended things suddenly about three months ago. He didn’t really give you an explanation. He left you so quickly, you didn’t even see it coming. He instantly was posting Snapchats of him going out and partying or hanging out with the girl he told you to “never worry about.” It took you many sleepless, crying, ice cream eating nights to finally get over him. You feel great knowing you moved past the drama and can finally be with someone who respects and loves you the right way. And, of course, instantly when your mind stops thinking about him and your heart heals, he pops up again. So, now your three months past the breakup and he sends you the, “Hey, I miss you” text and knows you’ll respond. Don’t fall for it. He isn’t missing you because he loves you – he’s missing you because he’s lonely and knows you’ll always take him back.

The games continue on and on because we let them win. The boys enjoy feeling powerful and will play whatever games they can in order to keep you going crazy for them. Boys, like I said, we are just as guilty of playing games with your mind. However, I think boys are just sneakier about it. Women are more obvious and wear their hearts on their sleeves. What if we all put a stop to this? What if we actually said how we felt and actually followed our heart? I think there would be a lot less heartbreak and a lot more love.

The heart of the problem is who are you dating and investing your time in? A boy or a man? Because men DO NOT play games. Men treat women with respect. A man sees no point in playing “games” with her mind because he’s too busy searching her heart. A man will put her emotions first and make sure to love her the way he should. Ladies, listen up. Fall in love with a man and not a boy. Don’t fall for mind games when you could be falling for a real man with a real love story. Once you say goodbye to boys and fall in love with a man, no other love quite seems the same.