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To Incoming College freshman, Please Know These 4 Hard Truths About Relationships Before Stepping Foot On Campus

From acquaintance rape to the "October Rule," here are 4 essential relationship tidbits for college students that you won't learn on your campus visit.

Courtney Kelderman

Jul 23, 2018

Iowa State University

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To Incoming College freshman, Please Know These 4 Hard Truths About Relationships Before Stepping Foot On Campus

Tan Danh via Pexels

Movies and college are not synonymous. Freshman year is not some long movie reel of late nights, cool professors, "hot" upperclassmen, drinking games, and illegal shenanigans with the best friends you've ever met.

Actually, freshman year can be one of the hardest years of your life because we often end up facing some really bad stuff--whether by choice or by accident.

Disclaimer: College is REALLY fun, trust me! But there are some things you should know about freshman year before you experience it for yourself.

You Should Know How To Ask For Consent

Again, life isn't like the movies. You NEED to know about consent before you hook up or even date someone. Sex doesn't just happen like the media would lead you to believe--you can't just find someone and have sex with them without having a conversation first.

Before you test the waters of the campus dating scene, learn how to ask for permission before you engage in intimate behavior with someone else. Consent shows respect.

You Should Know How To Take Care Of Yourself

Obviously, you can't bring your mom to campus to wash and fold your laundry every week. So at the most basic level, you should learn how to take care of yourself. This extends to hygiene, homework, dorm upkeep, and sleep.

But you also need to learn how to watch your six. By that, I mean that you should practice self-awareness and make smart choices. Be mindful of who your friends are. Pay attention to your surroundings. Be careful in general! Life is precious, and college can be dangerous sometimes.

You Shouldn't Rush Into A Relationship

College is the perfect time to discover yourself! You shouldn't feel pressured to find a boyfriend or girlfriend right away because this is YOUR time. If you're dead-set on dating right away, more power to you.

But for a helpful timeline, live in the present and stay single until around October (hence the "October Rule"). The hiatus will give you time to meet new people, figure out your game plan for the next four years, and discover yourself as well.

Acquaintance Rape Is A Real Thing, And It Can Happen To Anyone

The unfortunate truth is that, according to RAINN, "7 out of 10 rapes are committed by someone known to the victim." I have a few things to say about this.

First, DON'T RAPE. It should be easy, considering what you learned about consent earlier in this article. If someone says NO, do not proceed with intimate or sexual behaviors.

Second, protect yourself. Be aware of the reality that sexual assault is very common on college campuses. Start a conversation about it with your friends and family. Make sure your loved ones know that NO means NO. As human beings, we have every right to say NO and be respected for it.

My wish for you is that you enjoy freshman year to the fullest. However, you should also know that you are responsible for your well-being and your success in life. So, live in the present, make smart choices, and be a good person.

25 Beatles Lyrics: Your Go-To Guide for Every Situation

The Best Lines from the Fab Four

SUNY Binghamton

31739

Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

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best beatles lyrics

Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

95384

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

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waitlisted

Recommended for you

To Incoming College freshman, Please Know These 4 Hard Truths About Relationships Before Stepping Foot On Campus

From acquaintance rape to the "October Rule," here are 4 essential relationship tidbits for college students that you won't learn on your campus visit.

You Should Know How To Ask For Consent

You Should Know How To Take Care Of Yourself

You Shouldn't Rush Into A Relationship

Acquaintance Rape Is A Real Thing, And It Can Happen To Anyone

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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