Dating can be hard; a new person to get to know, uncomfortable first dates, going to family events, etc. Dating an Italian girl is a whole other level. Gentlemen, if you're new gal-pal happens to be Italian, here's your guide on what you need to know to handle your new flame.
1. If you date me, you date my whole family.
My identity is so deeply rooted in my family and my heritage. My family is a part of me, and therefore they shine through in my day-to-day. You're going to hear about them, so be prepared. Family comes first, always.
2. My dad is everything to me.
Even if you don't meet him, you're still being put to the test. I have a very specific list of what a man should be and how he should act because my father was my role model growing up.
Don't ask me if he's a mob boss, don't ask me if he's a Guido; he's not. He's the pinnacle of what an Italian girl respects, and if you don't respect it, baby, you're out. Our expectations are high. If you don't respect him, you don't respect me. Point, blank, period.
3. Your relationship with your mom tells me a lot about you.
Your relationship with your mother isn't my business, but the way you speak to her and about her around me is going to tell me a lot about your character; it's going to show me you treat the important women in your life. It's insight on how you're going to treat me.
4. If I know, my mother knows (and so does my Nana).
My mother is my best friend, and my grandmother is my mother's best friend. The bond between Italian ladies is unbreakable and unmatched. and we all talk every day.
I tell her everything because she's the one person I trust. Italians mothers give the best advice, so naturally, I'm going to go to her. Don't worry, she won't bring up your dirty laundry in a public setting and try to embarrass you; we aren't a cliche. We don't keep secrets from each other.
5. Pasta isn't my main food group.
But food is very important to me. Just because I love my mother's red sauce (and yes, my mother's is the best) doesn't mean I only eat Pasta e Fagioli and Rigatoni. I learned from her careful craft in her cooking skills what quality food should be, and this boils down to everything from steak to Pad Thai.
Yes, I am convinced olive oil is the nectar of the gods, but my palette is expansive; I can tell when there's too much turmeric or the restaurant's basil isn't fresh. I'll try anything once, but I'm going to be a critic. Thanks, Ma.
6. I'm going to make an effort with your friends.
For an Italian, your circle is everything. This includes your family, your friends, who you're seen with. We're in college so I know I'm going to meet your friends first, so your friends are important to me.
I'm not going to be the girl who's timid, says hello, and doesn't speak for the rest of the night. I'm going to get to know them, ask them questions, crack a joke or two; because if they're important to you, they're important to me. I'm not going to try and become their best friend, but Italian girls are loyal, and we don't take relationships of any kind lightly.
And if you don't want to be seen with me, fuh-get-a-bout-it, I'm not going to make an effort with you.
7. Please treat my friends with respect.
For an Italian, friends are the family you choose. Italian ladies are loyal and our girlfriends are our sisters. We will stick by them. Treat them how you'd treat me; with respect. You don't need to try to be their BFF, but you need to put in a little effort. Don't disrespect me in front of them, don't disrespect them. I want my friends to like you, or at least respect the way you treat me.
8. Your parents will love me.
When I meet your parents, I will treat them with the utmost respect and warmth, just as I would treat mine. I'll chat with your mom, offer to help make dinner (probably even bring dessert) and thank your dad for having me over. I'm going to ask about your siblings and make sure they feel as though they are welcome to approach me and I'm not "just Dan's girlfriend." I'm going to be myself, not just a lifeless extension of you.
9. I will brag about you.
If I'm with you, I'm with you. Italian girls are loyal to their boyfriends, we respect them and champion them. Italian women trust their boyfriends, love them, and want to show them off. Pictures, in person, on Facebook etc. I'm not going to keep you low-key.
10. I can see through your bull shit.
Don't say something unless you mean it. Don't lie, just be honest with me. Italians communicate really well, so we can read all your body language and we can tell when you're being genuine. Just be real with me. And when you do say something impactful, I'm going to cherish it and take it to heart.
11. I'm emotional.
I'm emotional. I'm fiercely passionate about things I love, I'm vocal about my opinions, and I am not afraid to cry.
Don't worry, I'm not obsessed with you, I simply feel all aspects of my life deeply.
When I do fall in love with you, I will love you deeply and let you know. Italian women are the most loyal and intimate significant others. I'll admit, when Italian women are pissed, we have a fiery temper. This is the one time to take our words with a grain of salt.
12. Carry earplugs, just in case.
Italian ladies need to ramble, period. I know I'm loud. Now, if I'm waving my hands in the arm and I start to clap, take em' out because you're going to have a pop quiz on whoever/whatever I'm bitching about. Otherwise, go ahead and pop em' in, 99% of the time I won't notice. Just nod and tell me you understand.
13. If I don't say "I'm mad at you," then I'm really not mad at you.
I'm not mad at you, I just talk aggressively and kinda loud. I'm not mad at you, I just have my own agenda and I'm probably thinking about my to-do list for the next month. Hey, I'm a Diva. Don't worry, Italian women are blunt, we mean what we say and you'll know if there's an issue between us.
14. We're curvy goddesses.
We have curves, here, there and everywhere. We're very confident and we aren't afraid to strut our stuff...Isn't that why you were drawn to us in the first place? Embrace them, gentlemen. But on the flipside, we are still women, let us know you think we're beautiful, it goes a long way.
15. I'm going to give you shit. A lot of shit.
I know how to make a joke, so I hope you can take one. Humor is so important to Italian women because laughter is something which booms throughout our homes. We aren't afraid to be a little dicey, but we always mean well.
16. Understand that we're not going to change.
Know what you're getting into. We're fiery, fierce, and a different breed of women. If you cant handle the heat, don't step into the pan.