As a 21-year-old single college student, I encounter the same scenario pretty often. I'll meet a cute guy and go on a date. The date will go well, but I often decide that he's just not the right one for me.

Within days my friends/family/professors/elders will begin speculating my decision.

They always tell me to just give him a chance, and ask if maybe I'm just being too picky. Then without fail comes the infamous question, "You know God isn't going to bring you a perfect man, right?"

Duh? I know that.

God already sent me the perfect man and I’m already dating him.

Jesus Christ.

*Sarcasm and a hair flip*

But I digress.

I’m not perfect, and I’m not holding out for someone that is perfect either. Actually, what I’m asking for is far from perfection.

I want a husband who doesn’t love onlyme. I want a married man.

Taboo, right?

Modern day society tells us that you should settle down when you find someone who fits a particular checklist. Such as, future husband should love me, cherish me and protect me

Then we make sure that they can compromise, and if we find all these things in one person, we tell ourselves we don't deserve to ask for much more than occasional flowers (or Whataburger) because you take what you can get. Good with the bad, right?

All those things are wonderful, and I want them for my relationship, but they are nothing if both parties aren’t following the Lord.

God does not want you to date a non-follower of Christ.

He wants you to be with someone who is committed to Christ.

Pursuit of Him is key.

God wants you to be with someone who pursues Him First.

I think we too often get confused on what that looks like. It's easy to think that if he admits to being a Christian and owns a Bible that he must love the Lord, but that isn't necessarily true. Going to church every Sunday is not a definitive sign that he is pursuing the Lord, and he may not have a heart that God would want you to pursue.

I say this because I was that person.

I went to church, I was a Christian, I believed in God, but I didn’t love God. I was not actively chasing after His heart, and the path of my life was not following Him. I would have made a horrible wife!

Ask yourself…

Does the man I’m with love God more than he loves me? Does he love God as passionately as he loves me? Is he married to Christ?

Now this isn’t to say we can’t make our own choices and choose a relationship without God. *Shout out to free will* He ultimately heals  —  despite our choices.

Please know that when you choose this relationship, without God, you’re not choosing to love God.

And that’s OK, because God loves us anyway, and He forgives us no matter what we choose. That is the beauty of our Savior; His grace.

Just don’t be surprised when you find some of the worst heartbreak, anxiety, insecurity, fear and loneliness along the way because God had a different plan for you.

Through the course of many failed relationships, and a lot of emotional baggage, I took a different path.

No more heartbreak, anxiety, insecurity, fear or loneliness.

I decided to trust the Lord and pursue Him, only to chase what He deems worthy for me. Let me tell you, it’s the best decision I’ve ever made.

I think sometimes God wants us to take a moment.

To stop and to trust Him.

This is why I hold out for a husband who is already in pursuit of God. I trust that if he is meant to me, to be my husband, then God will grow his faith —  apart from me. My future husband will never tempt me or lead me to compromise my (forever) walk with God for a (temporary) walk with him.

My husband will be the leader of my household, an influencer of my heart, my flesh will join his and we will become one.

Our marriage will be the closest thing I get to experience on Earth to that of Christ’s love for the Church. Ephesians 5: 22–33. How powerful (and beautiful) is that?

So I don’t want my husband to just love me. I don’t want him to just pursue me. That’s great, but it isn't enough.

I want him to love, pursue and be married to God. Our relationship should not only be about our love for each other but our marriage to God.

Save yourself the heartbreak, date a married man.