Should You Date Freshman Year?
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Relationships

Should You Date Freshman Year?

Understand what you want before you share it with others.

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Should You Date Freshman Year?
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"The basic principles ... there are none." This end of movie quote from the movie "Hitch,"sums up everything people need to know about dating. There are no specific guidelines or rules to follow, simply trust someone enough to let them into your life. It sounds simple enough, but giving someone access to your life can be scary. As we mature we find our other half that we can share ourselves with. However, it can be difficult to let people in, especially in college.

Dating in college can be challenging. The numerous new opportunities presented make college so exciting and amazing that you want to be involved with them all. During these incredible times, you begin to learn more about yourself and what your priorities and desires are. Committing to a partner when it is difficult to adjust to new occurrences and stresses may be overwhelming. Wrap your head around what you want with your life before you begin to date.

During the early stages of college, students become fickle and self-centered. Normally, being self-centered is looked down upon, but college is designed to allow people to be somewhat self-absorbed. When learning about yourself you need to make sure you are happy, which requires being selfish. Focusing on your well being is important in college because it is a time of new experiences that help people grow and guide a path. A crush or partner may seem like the one, in the moment, however, college changes people and you and that person may be different in three months compared to now. Becoming mature helps drive your character and other aspects that are important. Individuals change in everyone's eyes, whether the change is good or bad. Being aware of character development by both yourself and a potential partner is very important when looking to date. Before rushing into a relationship with someone, try to understand your desires so you can look for them in someone else.

College is about having fun and making new memories. Individuals believe they are not able to date someone because it will be harder for them to have a good time. Dating has many unwritten rules, that every couple makes. It can be difficult for one person in the relationship to fully enjoy themselves if they have to abide by these "rules." Until they want to have fun with a romantic partner, they do not want to make the commitment. This can be taken as selfishness, but we are all selfish. People may care about others and want to have a romantic relationship, but they are on the fence because while they care about the other soul, they care about themselves more. Everyone wants to be happy, and sometimes you have to risk the happiness of someone else to enjoy your life.

Being involved in organizations such as a fraternity or sorority for example, can make dating very difficult. While stereotypes claim all Greeks party and sleep around, that is not the reason why dating is hard in these groups. Greeks have a lot of commitments they have to make to the house whether it is philanthropies, studying, the initiation process and others. When they are at young ages such as freshmen and sophomores they have more tasks they need to attend to. Committing to school and a Greek system while trying to have fun can already be challenging enough. Having to also focus on another person can be hard to prioritize for the first couple of years.

If you are an individual of whatever year or age who is looking to date then make sure you are prepared for anything. As is written before there is no right way to date. Just make sure you know what you want in a boyfriend or girlfriend and pick the right one for you. You may be attracted to someone, but if they cannot commit to your emotional needs then they are not as ready as you. It is better to stop the relationship when you observe this before you get hurt.

For those who are attempting long distance, know that both of you are not each others priorities anymore. You are now separated and figuring out your own lives. You may still want to date each other, but understanding your significant other has to focus on other events besides you, is key. Do not get mad at them, they are trying to make it work because they do care but they have to put themselves first. However, if they have too many commitments they can become selfish, which again is potentially a good thing at such a young age. If you feel that your commitments are too difficult at school to handle along with the long distance stress, maybe it is time to be selfish and focus on what you need. Understand that dating is just dating. The commitment is not permanent and you will grow from the relationship and make the next one better.

College is about maturing and learning what priorities make you happy. Really learn about who you are and what you want from yourself before looking for it from others. Learning about yourself helps teach you what you want in others. Understanding yourself allows you to learn what you look for in others. Eventually, you will find that person that feels the same way as you. When you realize this, all that time you may have spent pouting will seem ridiculous.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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