I recently turned 21 and as I looked back over my previous years and experiences I reflected on how much I’ve learned over the course of my life. I’ve changed and developed into a young woman who knows what she wants, who she is and is not afraid to share it with the world. I have been through a lot to learn how to love myself, how not to allow the opinions or actions of others to influence that confidence.

However, since my recent participation in the world of dating, I have found that my confidence is growing shady. In my most recent break up I was, of course, heartbroken because it wasn’t what I wanted. The effect it had on me went deeper because the root of the problem was more than incompatibility. I’ve put a lot of thought into the reasoning behind why he ended things, what I could have done wrong, anything to try and make sense of it and I recently found my answer.

I’m intimidating.

I promise I don’t mean to sound conceited and I haven’t gotten a big head but, as a strong, confident, intelligent, independent woman who has a whole lot of love to offer, I imagine I may come on a little strong at times. Some of the male species, the boys to be more specific, don’t know what to do with all this. As we already know, males reach maturity more slowly than females.

So, I have concluded that when a woman who is confident and as a lot to offer, it may seem, to this boy she is with, that he is not offering as much.

Boys, males of all ages, I will let you in on a little secret and pay close attention:

If a woman like this is interested in you and wants to be in a relationship with you, you are giving her everything she needs. Women like this do not bother wasting their time or affection on people who don’t return it and you should keep her around because she can probably teach you a few things.

Boys, you should actively seek a confident, independent woman because I promise everything she has to offer is better than anything you could imagine. She’s going places because she has goals and she’s willing to support the people that love her however she can. If you’re tired of meaningless relationships that fail to go below the surface level, try dating a woman like this instead of the girls who are insecure and still trying to find themselves.

Trust me, it will be worth the work.