All the single ladies, now put your hands up!!!
Without a doubt, single life can be both a blessing and a curse. Whereas everyone around you is getting into relationships, bragging about their S.O. or perhaps even getting engaged, you find alone in bed every night downing a whole pizza to yourself in midst of another Netflix marathon.
Single life can also be very lonely at times but you know what? It's time for us to stop being so remorseful and miserable. I mean, who says singles can't live their best lives?
Here's 11 relatable tweets you can laugh at if you're painfully single:
1. Official relationship status: In a committed relationship with a large pepperoni and extra cheese pizza
pizza won't divorce you pizza won't betray you pizza won't cheat on you pizza won't fight with you why don't people just marry pizza— 9GAG (@9GAG)1444582831.0
2. Due to personal reasons, I will be throwing back a shot for every time I delete another boy’s number off my contacts
3. My brain: "don't do it, don't do it" Me: *re-downloads Bumble and Tinder*
haven’t opened tinder for a bit and thought to myself “well they’ve probably restocked their inventory” modern dating is hell— Brandy Jensen (@Brandy Jensen)1523808211.0
*Sirens and lights go flashing off in the distance*
4. Online dating reality: All these matches, but I can't even start a fire
If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses— Jeffrey Hadz (@Jeffrey Hadz)1420667111.0
Or a lot of really LA-hotshot-shirtless-model Chads or Asian Kevins who love boba
5. Or when you DO end up with a promising match only for this to happen:
being single is all fun and games until you realise it’s a never ending cycle of getting to know someone, they even… https://t.co/lurguNERdK— senorita ugly (@senorita ugly)1528796636.0
I mean, if you're going to ghost me, why do you still watch my story? Like you didn't want me so stop looking at me, b*tch.
6. Epitome of single life: drunk calling your ex
5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message"— Mae (@Mae)1420924026.0
If you didn't drunk call him, text him and cry to him (or about him) at some point is he really your ex???
7. No one: Me: Runs back to my ex knowing full well I'm up for heartbreak round 103949
So single that I'm starting a recycling program- dudes from years ago are back in my life. Super environmental.— Laura (@Laura)1429239763.0
But hey, at least I'm being eco-friendly
8. But ya'll want to know what's REAL heartbreak? Catching feelings for someone only to get hit with this one liner:
'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."— Sasshole (@Sasshole)1401066109.0
Three words—say it and I'm all yours.
"Let's be friends"
9. At least being single means you can do whatever the f*ck you want
Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss— Shira (@Shira)1380772452.0
You do you, girllllll
10. You can also avoid embarrassing situations like this:
There is a really good looking guy in my accounting class and his insta was on private so I sent a follow request d… https://t.co/FsBmx14KGA— BChopz (@BChopz)1556981920.0
Can we all please dedicate a prayer for Becca?
11. Moral of the story: Let me just avoid all social interactions and just hole up inside my room eating spoonfuls of Nutella straight out of the jar.
ME: im sick of being single FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone? ME: absolutely not, i'd have to put on pants & talk. no thank u— Bob Vulfov (@Bob Vulfov)1447962499.0
No Pants Squad for LIFE