Recommended for you

https://www.instagram.com/p/BjpixW-nJfe/?hl=en&taken-by=3dmusclefamily

13 Types of Fuckboys And How Exactly They'll Fuck You Over

Start writing a post

Swoon

11 Tweets You’ll Laugh At If You’re Painfully Single

Three words, say it and I'm all yours. "Let's be friends"

Elle Hong

May 28, 2019

UCLA

334

11 Tweets You’ll Laugh At If You’re Painfully Single

Instagram - Ella Ceron

All the single ladies, now put your hands up!!!

Without a doubt, single life can be both a blessing and a curse. Whereas everyone around you is getting into relationships, bragging about their S.O. or perhaps even getting engaged, you find alone in bed every night downing a whole pizza to yourself in midst of another Netflix marathon.

Single life can also be very lonely at times but you know what? It's time for us to stop being so remorseful and miserable. I mean, who says singles can't live their best lives?

Here's 11 relatable tweets you can laugh at if you're painfully single:

1. Official relationship status: In a committed relationship with a large pepperoni and extra cheese pizza

pizza won't divorce you pizza won't betray you pizza won't cheat on you pizza won't fight with you why don't people just marry pizza
— 9GAG (@9GAG) 1444582831.0

2. Due to personal reasons, I will be throwing back a shot for every time I delete another boy’s number off my contacts

3. My brain: "don't do it, don't do it" Me: re-downloads Bumble and Tinder

haven’t opened tinder for a bit and thought to myself “well they’ve probably restocked their inventory” modern dating is hell
— Brandy Jensen (@Brandy Jensen) 1523808211.0

*Sirens and lights go flashing off in the distance*

4. Online dating reality: All these matches, but I can't even start a fire

If tinder has taught me one thing it's that there is an extraordinary amount of single girls named Shelby that love to ride horses
— Jeffrey Hadz (@Jeffrey Hadz) 1420667111.0

Or a lot of really LA-hotshot-shirtless-model Chads or Asian Kevins who love boba

5. Or when you DO end up with a promising match only for this to happen:

being single is all fun and games until you realise it’s a never ending cycle of getting to know someone, they even… https://t.co/lurguNERdK
— senorita ugly (@senorita ugly) 1528796636.0

I mean, if you're going to ghost me, why do you still watch my story? Like you didn't want me so stop looking at me, b*tch.

6. Epitome of single life: drunk calling your ex

5 stages of being single: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, texting your ex something random then going like "sorry wrong message"
— Mae (@Mae) 1420924026.0

If you didn't drunk call him, text him and cry to him (or about him) at some point is he really your ex???

7. No one: Me: Runs back to my ex knowing full well I'm up for heartbreak round 103949

So single that I'm starting a recycling program- dudes from years ago are back in my life. Super environmental.
— Laura (@Laura) 1429239763.0

But hey, at least I'm being eco-friendly

8. But ya'll want to know what's REAL heartbreak? Catching feelings for someone only to get hit with this one liner:

'You're beautiful and I love you," I yelled as I stood alone on the cliff, and my echo replied "I just want to be friends."
— Sasshole (@Sasshole) 1401066109.0

Three words—say it and I'm all yours.

"Let's be friends"

9. At least being single means you can do whatever the f*ck you want

Being single is cool bc you can eat a whole jar of pepperoncinis and spend the rest of the night farting spicily into the abyss
— Shira (@Shira) 1380772452.0

You do you, girllllll

10. You can also avoid embarrassing situations like this:

There is a really good looking guy in my accounting class and his insta was on private so I sent a follow request d… https://t.co/FsBmx14KGA
— BChopz (@BChopz) 1556981920.0

Can we all please dedicate a prayer for Becca?

11. Moral of the story: Let me just avoid all social interactions and just hole up inside my room eating spoonfuls of Nutella straight out of the jar.

ME: im sick of being single FRIEND: want me to set u up with someone? ME: absolutely not, i'd have to put on pants & talk. no thank u
— Bob Vulfov (@Bob Vulfov) 1447962499.0

No Pants Squad for LIFE

Report this Content

Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College

91939

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

waitlisted

Swoon

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

National Writers Society

154417

a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less

single life

Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Marist College

70478

loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets

StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Recommended for you

11 Tweets You’ll Laugh At If You’re Painfully Single

Three words, say it and I'm all yours. "Let's be friends"

1. Official relationship status: In a committed relationship with a large pepperoni and extra cheese pizza

2. Due to personal reasons, I will be throwing back a shot for every time I delete another boy’s number off my contacts

3. My brain: "don't do it, don't do it" Me: *re-downloads Bumble and Tinder*

4. Online dating reality: All these matches, but I can't even start a fire

5. Or when you DO end up with a promising match only for this to happen:

6. Epitome of single life: drunk calling your ex

7. No one: Me: Runs back to my ex knowing full well I'm up for heartbreak round 103949

8. But ya'll want to know what's REAL heartbreak? Catching feelings for someone only to get hit with this one liner:

9. At least being single means you can do whatever the f*ck you want

10. You can also avoid embarrassing situations like this:

11. Moral of the story: Let me just avoid all social interactions and just hole up inside my room eating spoonfuls of Nutella straight out of the jar.

Subscribe to our Newsletter

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

1. What do you do for a living?

2. What's your favorite color?

3. Do you have any siblings?

4. What's your favorite television show?

5. When is your birthday?

6. What's your biggest goal in life?

7. If you had three wishes granted to you by a genie, what would they be?

8. What's your favorite childhood memory?

9. If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?

10. Are you a cat or a dog person?

11. Do you believe in a religion or any sort of spiritual power?

12. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would it be?

13. What is your ideal date night?

14. Who was/is your celebrity crush?

15. What's a good way to cheer you up if you're having a bad day?

16. Do you have any tattoos?

17. Can you describe yourself in three words?

18. What makes you the most nervous in life?

19. What's the best gift you have ever received?

20. What do you do to relax/have fun?

21. What are your priorities at this phase of your life?

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Ingredients

Instructions

Ingredients

Instructions

Trending Topics

Top Creators

Trending Stories

Best of Swoon

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments

3. My brain: "don't do it, don't do it" Me: re-downloads Bumble and Tinder

Subscribe to our
Newsletter