stained is the shades

of red porcelain to her broken feet.

struggling with going on

and holding onto everything that went wrong.

'be positive' and 'you'll get over it' became the mantra.

get over it... surely it isn't so simple.

lugging these demons

so heavy and bold -

another brick layered

starving out in the frigid wasteland...

the unknown.

have you struggled?

have you fallen?

felt the putrid tongue

of broken promises?

grasped the bleak endings

of nothingness?

haunted to the light

the tired bear sleeps.

entangled in their webs -

drowning in their sorrows.

fear.

fear blinds her

as if breathing weren't hard enough.

lies.

prancing around

unbridled and unnerving.

another pierce to her bandaged heart

hanging on - yet faltering.

lies.

the very essential truth

clouded in what is mistakenly "serenity."

this is the problem -

the problem with finding self.

so satiated in what society

bears to be true

real

it.

the poison will sink deeper.

the blood will cascade down your skin

rivulets of disappointment and regret.

when you're no longer you -

when you're no longer holding on -

then what?

drag a little more in -

another moment of bliss.

smoke clouded

skin jaded

hearts branded -

no more.

when you are no longer

what then?

will you feel

remorse?

remember what it was

to be her?

tattered but functional?

parent

friend

daughter

sister.

will you remember

the sun?

unsettling need to be ...

normal?

when the urges can't take you,

when the pain can't find you,

where you

can be

yourself.

unnerved.

unearthed.

starving out in the bitterness

but no longer cold.

the shivers can halt

the pressure will subside -

sun meets sand.

tide entwines

the essence of belonging.

so white.

fresh.

beginnings.

but what will you do

to be her again?

what would you do

to find the sun?