Fairly recently, the Dallas Stars Organization has fired head coach Jim Montgomery due to "unprofessional conduct."

Now, I'm gonna be honest — I think I have what it takes to be the new head coach.

I completely understand that no one would want me as a coach because, for one thing, I can't skate and for another thing, I have never played a game of hockey in my life...

But there are so many reasons that I would be perfect for the position!

I am very motivating, and I know that it is not a good idea to pass the puck to a player that is not on your team. I'm not an idiot, however, some of these players are.

There is a high chance that I would also get fired for "unprofessional conduct" particularly towards Tyler Seguin, Jamie Benn and possibly Nick Caamano — who has already blocked me on Instagram. And it might not be a good idea as most of my time as a coach would be spent drooling over the players, but if I get a boyfriend between now and the time I am hired then there will be no problem — that's highly unlikely though.

I'm not gonna lie, there would be favoritism. Only the cute players would play, because that's all the girls who watch hockey really need to see.