It's OK To Cut Ties With Toxic Family Members
Start writing a post
Adulting

It's OK To Cut Ties With Toxic Family Members

You are family by blood and that may simply be the only connection your relationship is thread together by.

1167107
It's OK To Cut Ties With Toxic Family Members
Unsplash

Removing yourself from a toxic relationship with a family member is hard. There are no instructions to walking away and letting go of a toxic person, but it's a worthy process to pursue your own happiness and fixing the internal damage which emotional abuse inflicts.

Having a toxic family member who constantly takes you on an emotional rollercoaster ride on a regular basis leaves you with a range of conflicting feelings like confusion, obligation, pain, guilt, betrayal, anger, and grief. Taking the next step of letting go of family is incredibly hard, guilt-riddling, and takes a tremendous amount of courage.

A family member will take advantage of the fact that you are family – a bond that is supposed to be enduring, loving, and respectful – to manipulate and hurt you because they know you will find it very hard to remove yourself because you are family.

If you are going through something like this, I understand. It wasn't until recently that I decided that it was time to cut ties with someone who was a member of my household. After going through an entire childhood of emotional abuse I realized that ending all contact with that relative was the best route to take so I can continue living a healthy and happy life.

Some told me it was selfish to leave a loved one hanging, but the decision to cut ties with the relative was one of the hardest, but the best decisions I've ever made. That decision only came after I realized the outcome of my experiences with childhood emotional abuse. Now as an adult, I'm able to see the negative psychological effects I've developed because of the toxic relative.

We are conditioned to believe that to terminate relationships with “family" is morally and inherently wrong.

We are conditioned to believe that if we end relationships with them that we are “bad" and no one wants to be or feel like they are an inherently bad person.

We get it, your connection with your family is supposed to be this mythical bond that nobody and nothing can break—however, sometimes it's okay to distance yourself from certain family members, even if that means cutting them off indefinitely.

You should never compromise your mental, emotional or physical health for the sake of tolerating a toxic family member.

Even after you distance yourself from that toxic person, it will still take time to recover from that abuse, and that's okay, too. Family is a subjective term, so you can form a new family from your supportive friends. Surrounding yourself with supportive people will help you reinforce the positive change that you need in your life.

The toxic person in your life might try to gaslight you into thinking that you're actually the abuser. They will likely claim that they've been victimized because you're avoiding them, just because they give you the false sense of change or because they've made you feel remorse. These are the same abusive tactics they've used before, and you shouldn't backpedal and accept them back into your life.

I don't want you to hate toxic family members, that's not the reason for this article. But until they change, you may have to stay away from them. If you can't stay away, then be strong and do what you have to do in order to stay sane. Most importantly of all, take care of yourself.

I wish you luck and hope that you find peace in the midst of adversity.

Report this Content
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

91573
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

68103
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments