Cutting My Hair Was The Second Best Choice I've Ever Made, Right After Coming Out To My Mom

Cutting My Hair Was The Second Best Choice I've Ever Made, Right After Coming Out To My Mom

Sometimes a trip to the salon is all it takes to find yourself.


Everyone craves a change from time to time.

It's natural and since it grows back, our hair is often the thing we turn to fulfill that desire. Anything can spark a sudden urge to switch things up, a messy breakup, a promotion at work or maybe sometimes we just want to try something new.

For me, the need for a new look was sparked by one simple sentence: "Mom, I'm gay."

After letting my mom in on my best kept and biggest secret, I knew something had to shift. I needed to physically embody my sexuality finally, after keeping it a secret for so long. So naturally, I headed down to the salon, sat down and got the most tragic half-shave haircut I've ever had.

Now, don't get me wrong, at the moment that half shaved asymmetrical bob was everything to me. It felt so right, to me. However, looking back now almost four years later I can't help but wonder how I wasn't teased mercilessly.

The real change, the one that stuck, came around about a year after. I finally said goodbye to the one piece of long hair I had been holding on to. Sitting in the same salon, I traded in the asymmetrical half-shave for the real deal! A full shave, both sides and the back with just a little bit left up top.

When my hairdresser spun me around to take a look after it was all said and done, immediately had tears in my eyes and couldn't do much more than alternate between "thank you" and "oh my god I loved it."

As a masculine-presenting queer woman, there was this kind of catharsis that happened when I finally got the "big chop." I was finally seeing myself as I wanted to be seen. I got the typical lesbian haircut, which for me meant that I finally fully embraced my sexuality and was putting out there for the world to see too. My hair now serves as a kind of unsaid "Yes, what you're thinking is right. I am gay and I'm proud of it!"

With all of the good, naturally, there comes some bad too. Well, not even bad just....interesting. My new haircut coupled with my love of menswear really threw some people for a loop. My mom was asked questions like "does your son want another cup of coffee?" Or "Oh make him carry the groceries to the car."

When we would both look at these people in deep confusion, they would move back at me as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. I would correct them as politely as I could and go about my day but I'd be lying if I said it didn't bother me at times.

Now though, it doesn't even phase me. Call me sir, bro, ma'am miss, it doesn't really matter because at the end of the day I know who I am. And I couldn't be happier with or more thankful for my hair. It's helped really feel like myself and become a powerful queer woman that owns her identity and her journey.

I can say with nothing but confidence that cutting off all of my hair was by far the best decision I've ever made!

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13 Style Mistakes Every Girl Made In The 2000s

Hide your selfies.

1. Crimped Hair

2. Straightened Side Bangs With Curly Hair

3. Jeans under skirts

4. A "poof" with two braids

...thanks Lizzie Mcguire

5. The solo "poof" with straight hair

Lauren Conrad made this acceptable, right?

6. All silver or light blue eye shadow

7. Too Much Eyeliner

8. "Emo" hair

9. Ponchos

10. Tank Tops Over T-Shirts

11. Those "shrug" Half Sweaters that tied in the middle *cringe*

12. The uggs, graphic t, jean skirt, and leggings combo.

13. Stretching our tank tops way down under a tight T-shirt... Layers are trendy, right?

Cover Image Credit: College Fashion

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Kids Learning About LGBTQ History In School Is A Step In The Right Direction

It will create a better environment for the youth of America.


On February 1st, there was an article posted, talking about the bill that was passed on Thursday, January 31st that required schools to teach LGBT history.

I initially saw this article on my Facebook timeline when a conservative acquaintance of mine posted it and said how terrible it is and that it's "another reason to move out of state".

Additionally, some of his friends commented under the post about how outraged they were that this is now a thing, saying that they're going to send their kids to private schools or homeschool them because they "don't want their kids to question their sexuality".

Well, I've got news for you. I know plenty of kids who went to private school with me and they are a part of the LGBT community. You have no way of preventing your child from questioning who they are or being gay.

I grew up going to a private school, where religious beliefs and the thought that it's not okay to be different were shoved down our throats daily. Now, I'm not saying private school was a bad thing; if I didn't go there, I might not have the morals I do.

Private school was actually a good thing for developing good morals. I'm saying that forcing a certain way of thinking will only make your child stray further.

As stated in the screenshot from the article above, children learning about the LGBT community will NOT force your child to question who they are. Questioning who you are is a part of life. Everyone questions who they are at one point or another.

Learning about LGBT leaders and contributors will make kids less ignorant in the subject and more rounded in the history of our country. LGBT kids will be less scared, and non-LGBT kids will be more accepting and knowledgable.

We've learned black history, history of immigrants, and the history of the country since we were little. The LGBT community is a part of our history.

When my parents were growing up, no one talked about serious issues like mental health and sexuality. Everyone suppressed everything. Conservatives act like being gay is a disease and keeping their kids away from DIVERSITY and INCLUSION will make their kids "normal", which isn't even a thing.

I'm proud of the direction that New Jersey is going in. A good chunk of mental health issues are linked to having to suppress who you really are. By learning about others that are like them, LGBTQ+ youth will feel less alone and will be able to open up more.

It's 2019 and it's about damn time that this bill was passed.

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