For a long time, I didn't know how to manage my wild curly hair. I would straighten my hair every single day because that was the norm for white girls such as myself. I also had no idea what products I should have been using to keep it healthy and make it look pretty without being crunchy or greasy.
I got my curls from my dad's side of the family and a little bit from my grandmother on my mom's side. Nobody else in my immediate family had my hair type so I had no guidance of how in the world I was supposed to take care of it. I also didn't realize how badly I was damaging it with the flat iron and experimenting with hair color and dyes.
Now that I know what I'm doing with my hair, something I didn't learn until I was 18-years-old, please don't touch it. My hair gets tangled very easily and frizzes out at the slightest things. Running your fingers through my hair is a surefire way to get them stuck in there and cause me some pain and a great deal of frustration.
What you don't realize is that it took me probably 30 to 45 minutes to tame my mane and make it look presentable. You probably also don't consider the fact that since you touched my hair, I will probably have to wear it up tomorrow or wash it for the second day in a row, both of which could break or dry out my hair.
I know I am not the first girl to ask you to not do this one simple thing, but I do know that seeing a white girl with curly hair isn't super common. Most of these pleas will come from African American women, and I guarantee you their hair reacts the same way as mine, if not worse when you touch it.
With saying this, I also want to say that if you ask to touch my hair, I will probably let you so long as you don't try to brush it with your fingers. A simple "Your hair looks really pretty" also goes a long way, as I usually feel like it looks like a bird lives in there.
So, if you want to touch my hair, please ask first. If I still tell you I'd rather you didn't, don't get upset. This goes for anyone you see with curly hair and other people in general. To all the people who also share this struggle of having curly hair, if you catch me staring at your head, I'm probably wondering what you used to make it look so pretty.