Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by a society that deems your natural hair one of the terms below:

1. Inappropriate

2. Wild

3. Untamed/unruly

4. Birds Nest

5. Mop

6. Pajon

7. Cabello malo (bad hair)

8. Ugly

Well, not to worry my darlings, because you can be rest-assured that there is a community out there that has accepted your beautiful curly hair for what it represents: you.

Transitioning is different for everyone and as you may already know, what works for one curly head may not work for the other. At some point during my transitioning, I gave in to the blow-drying. I was so used to just getting my hair straightened every once in a while, but I also didn’t know more than two or three other color girls besides myself. Something people with straight hair probably don’t realize is how much advertisements, the workspace, media and various other things, are catered for them and not us curly heads.

I don’t see any ads on TV for any of the products I use, which doesn’t mean that these products aren’t popular because I can assure you that they are. But just let that sink in for a second on how beauty is being portrayed through the media, and just how much we eat it up every single day. I don’t get to see ads with any girls that have my hair texture or curl type, which originally made transitioning such a drag. It was a process of trial and error in buying products that worked for some people but ended up not working for me in the same way.

I also began to realize how about 95% of the people I followed on Instagram had straight hair. This, of course, made things a bit difficult while transitioning because although I’d like to think that I’m not easily influenced, it’s difficult to love your hair when you don’t see it reflected through others. Upon this realization, I took it upon myself to start finding some curly heads, and some 1 or 2 years ago I was shocked to find just how big the curly hair community is. It was through Instagram that I found all of these girls that were actually taking time out of their day to show their followers what products worked for them, different styles, advice, and most importantly support.

From my personal experience, personal support was not something I found very easily. Growing up, I was led to believe that straight hair was what was beautiful; it’s what you wore to parties, to family gatherings, to funerals, to graduation, for school pictures, to go out of the country, to meet your boyfriends family, to go to job interviews, etc. I was led to believe that my hair in its natural state was unruly and inappropriate for basically everything. On top of that, I had no one to tell me how to manage my natural hair when it wasn’t straightened. I always thought the only things that could tame my hair were gels and mousse, only to find out that these products were super drying and were actually damaging my hair.

These girls that I started to follow offered that support and reassurance by sharing their stories while on this journey to love their hair. I didn’t realize how much of a difference it made to see curly hair on my feed until I realized just how much I had grown to love my hair and how what people thought of it was their business, not mine.

These complete strangers taught me how every curly head has a different texture, porosity, and curl type, and how these factors play a role in what products will work best for your hair. I learned the importance of trims and deep conditioning and over-hydrating your hair. I learned that regular shampoos that I used since I was a kid contained ingredients that were drying and harmful to my curls. I learned that I wasn’t alone on this natural hair journey.

The point I’m trying to get at here is that there are some very nasty comments that people can make about your hair, even by close friends and family, but you need to learn to brush it off because you know better than to believe them. Let them know how touching your hair is a no-no, and no you’re not just being petty. Explain to them that they are disturbing your curl pattern and causing frizz that you just spent the morning trying to tame. Tell them how you’re proud of your “Pajon” and how it’s representative of your identity; tell them that they should be proud too.

Learn to manipulate social media to your advantage. You don’t need to look at pictures of all your friends looking flawless with pin-straight hair down to their hips because although they look beautiful you can look just as flawless wearing your curly hair down to your waist or rocking a curly fro. Teach yourself to recognize the beauty that lies in those frizzy strands and that there are tons of people out there from all over the world that have a texture similar to yours. Just know that you don’t need to spend hours at the salon under the hooded dryer, or with the stylist pulling your head left and right while blow-drying it, to feel beautiful in your own skin.

#wherethecurlyhairemojiat