Flashbacks, memories, triggers, paranoia -- these are all things that come with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (or PTSD). It is something I personally struggle with sometimes. You see this disorder most commonly in patients who have gone through something traumatic, like in military men and women who come back from war. A lot of our homeless vets have this disorder. Although not always caused by memories of war, those who suffer from PTSD can go through series of trauma that can determine how severe their PTSD is. Mine, although not as debilitating now, was quite severe. I spent weeks, even months at a time reliving the most traumatic experience of my life. Even years later, I still struggle with it when my triggers cause flashbacks.

What are triggers? Triggers are certain stressors, situations, words, phrases, or etc. that can cause you to flashback to any traumatic event that caused your PTSD. How do you identify your triggers? How do you learn to cope with them? Everyone is different, so there is no one way to cure them.

Identifying triggers are hard because no matter how much you wish to forget what happened, things in your life will cause you to stress and "trigger" whatever it is you went through. My triggers are yelling, fighting, violent movies, and talking about my PTSD, or hearing any similar story that relates to me. I deal with my PTSD in my nightmares which I've struggled with every night for the past two years. It's my subconscious way of dealing with my past.

Triggers are hard to figure out, especially with how severe each case is. However, identifying them will help with finding ways to cope. Like certain mental illnesses, it is important to keep your mind busy. I tend to find activities that allow me to concentrate on what I'm doing rather than simple tasks that allow my mind to wander. The more complicated the task or activity, the more mind wants to focus. When dealing with my triggers, especially knowing what they are, I try as often as I can to make sure I do not come into contact with anything that will stress me out to the point where I go into my flashbacks. Sometimes it gets quite taxing knowing that I have quite a few triggers.

Coping with my PTSD is not as difficult as it used to be. When my symptoms were severe, which was weeks to months after my trauma, I would lose sleep and found that working with my therapist was quite difficult. Here is what I learned.

1. Stay calm.

This sounds really hard to do right? It was in the beginning when I first started to get my episodes. I was so busy reliving my experience that I lost all sense of reality. Fortunately, with time, I was able to notice when I was about to have an episode and was able to teach my body to stay calm as my mind tried to differentiate what was real and what wasn't. I started by clenching my fists tight enough that I could feel the pain. After about a year, I was able to just squeeze my arms or hands to stay focused.

2. Stay focused.

Again, really hard to do in the beginning. With time, by staying calm, you can learn to stay focused on the reality and tell yourself, "It is not real." I find things that are around me that are real and say them out loud. This sounds silly, but when I look and name things, my mind focuses on the reality of my situation and not the flashbacks that cause me the most grief.

These two things sound so simple and so hard. That is because they are. Nothing is ever guaranteed, but the first step is identifying your triggers. That is the hardest part. Once you do that, these two steps could help you cope with the episodes until you no longer need them. Everything takes time including healing -- both physically and mentally.

I still suffer from nightmares, and I still do not know how to control them, but when I am out in public, in class, or at work i have these tools to help me stay in reality and not the dark memory of my past.