Has anyone ever made you feel uncomfortable in your own skin?
You know what I mean, don’t you? You spend a little extra time getting ready for the day. You have a new pair of shoes on, or maybe your eyelashes just pop a little extra. Whatever it may be, you just feel good about yourself. For whatever reason, you feel like you could conquer the world on this day.
Isn’t it crazy how an item of clothing or a small characteristic that you possess could make you feel so confident?
Isn’t it even more crazy how the exact same thing could make you feel worthless and insecure just moments later?
Last night, I sat in the car with my boyfriend as he told me about a friend of his who, yes, may dress a little differently than most people would, but likes it. He told me about how his friend didn’t feel comfortable wearing the clothes that he likes because classmates give him a hard time about it.
As I sat there and listened to the story, my heart began to hurt. I knew the feeling all too well. Too often have I allowed what other people say and think determine who I was. Growing up a girl, especially, I let my style choices be based off of other people. I didn’t always buy clothes because I liked them, but because I knew other people would. I thrived off of compliments, because I knew that if I didn’t get them, I’d feel self conscious the rest of the day.
I remember in high school, my sister gave me these duck boots that had fringe on the side, and I loved them. In my eyes, I finally had duck boots like the other girls had, and I couldn’t be more excited. That is, until a friend of mine leaned over to me in the middle of Pre-Cal and told me that some of the girls were making fun of them. I felt so self conscious the rest of the day, and I never wore the boots again. Why? Because I let what other people thought get to me.
As I have emerged into this “real world” that everyone refers to as college, I’ve realized how backwards I’ve had it all along. We shouldn’t care what other people think, but I fully understand why we so often do. No one really ever wants to stick out. No one ever wants to feel alienated, so we try to blend in and, more specifically, fit in. If we don’t, we get mocked. Teased. Embarrassed.
Have you ever made someone else feel bad about themselves because of how they decided to dress? Have you ever made a comment to your friend about a certain girl’s top or a guy’s shoes? I know I have, and hearing the stories about how it affects other people makes me feel ashamed for doing so.
Where on earth did I ever get the mindset that I had the authority to judge other people based on what they wear? Why, for some odd reason, do I feel high enough up on the totem pole to look down on other people for their style choices, especially when I know what it feels like to be that person. Have I lost my mind?!
Who cares if someone dresses a little different than you do? Sure, there are some circumstances where people can’t afford to dress the same way, but some people simply don’t want to. And that’s okay (and totally not my business).
Shouldn’t what we put on our bodies be a reflection of who we are? After all, so many people use their clothing as a form of art, yet we praise them for being original and shun others for doing the same thing in their own way.
We should be able to feel comfortable in our own skin. We should be able to wear that dress or those shoes without fearing what other people think. More importantly, we shouldn’t make others feel inferior because of what they picked out of their closet that day. Let people be themselves, and allow yourself to do the same thing.
Life is hard enough without feeling inadequate. We should be building up not only others, but ourselves as well. We don’t need to prove ourselves to anyone. We don’t have to change ourselves to make other people happy. The only person we should be dressing to impress is ourselves.
So wear the shirt. Put on those shoes. Don’t feel ashamed just because of what someone else might think. Be confident in who you are - in who God created you to be. When you come to terms with the fact that no one else can define you, you will be unstoppable.