Hello there! Do you know what Crohns Disease is? Well, I'm about to tell you, anyway. According to the interweb, Crohns Disease is “an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It causes inflammation of the lining of your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition.” So far, there is no cause, no cure.

Doesn't that sound just wonderful? Well, it's not, and as a “Crohnie” myself, I'll be the first to say I'd rather poke my eyes out with sporks than deal with this.

I often find myself making fun of this disease. It's terrible, but honestly, you can really make your life a lot easier by finding ways to look on the bright side. I've found a few different jokes about Crohns, and I'd like to share them with you.

1. Prednisone is your worst enemy.

Oh prednisone ... how I've missed you — said no one ever. The beautiful, small, white pill does wonders, while making your face look like this:

It also makes you want to eat seven horses, 13 cheesecakes and two grapes.

2. ISO: Bathroom!

Literally any time a Crohnie wants to go out, whether it be with friends or just a nice walk in the park, a bathroom must be in sight. You know that awkward-paced walk you do while crossing a street in front of a car? Yep, that happens when your gut is like, “Hey! You really don't need to be waiting in line for food, you're not hungry anyway. I'm more important.” Or, “Hey!! IT'S ME!!! PAY ATTENTION TO ME!!”

3. You Become A Bathroom Interior Decor Specialist

Sitting in the bathroom for sometimes hours on end, you really become a specialist with knowing your bathroom like the back of your hand. Do you know what ingredients are in Paul Mitchell shampoo? I sure do, let me enlighten you.

4. Eating Sucks.

One of your friends says, “Oh, I'm starting this new diet, it's going to be great. You should really check it out!” L.O.L. No, I already have a diet that minimizes my food options enough, thank you. It's actually kind of great how your body decides what type of food you do and don't like. Spaghetti with extra meatballs? No way, man. A nice piece of peanut butter toast? You bet.

5. You're Basically A Superhero

Did you know I'm actually in pain like 24/7, and you'd never know because you can't see it? That's pretty awesome if you ask me. What people don't understand is that when someone has a broken arm, you can see they're physically in pain. When someone has Crohns, you can't tell they're in pain because it's internal. I've had many people tell me I'm "faking my pain," and that I'm just "going to the doctor so much to get attention." If I really wanted that much attention, pretty sure I have worse problems to worry about than pooping too much (Or in my case, not at all!).

6. Pooping Is A Daily Topic

For all you weak stomachs, out there, I encourage you to stop reading this letter. I apologize if you can't handle bodily functions. In all seriousness, pooping is a daily topic. Some people come home from school and say, “Hey look Mom, I got an A on my test!” I come home and say, “Hey Mom, I pooped today!!” Sometimes I forget my filter and speak of this bodily function in public without realizing that no one talks about their BM's this openly.

To all you Crohnie's out there, I hope you get into remission ASAP, and for those who don't have this awesome problem in your stomach, enjoy your working bowels and stop complaining when you have a stomachache.